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Showing posts from March, 2016

Apparently I'm not 26 anymore...

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According to the drive thru lady at Burger King, I'm a little one. 
So I was sitting in the back of the car as other people were ordering their Coca-Cola Icee and the lady that was collecting the money handed a hat over to the driver and said "For the little one". 
We all just busted out laughing. I'm wearing this hat to show that on a positive; I'm aging remarkably well. Or so it appears :)

More PROOF

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Because doubting me, only makes me stronger

Don't underestimate me.

Just throwing it out there. #proofofschooling #gettingeducated #dontunderestimateme A video posted by @brannilove on Mar 30, 2016 at 3:26pm PDT

New Shades

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#schoolboylook #feellikeapro

You don't know a thing about me

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You don't have a right to tell me, when and where to go, no right to tell me

UPDATE: Schooling

So, it's with great pleasure to announce.... I got in!

I'll be taking the prerequisite for 2 weeks to see if I will be able to advance to the full course towards earning my high school diploma and after that; earning a degree in Homeland Security.

It feels good to know that I have this opportunity and that my workplace pays for it. I wish I had known this sooner because I would have taken this chance ages ago. Better late than never though and I'm glad to be on the right path.

Here goes <3

Throwback: Daniel Bedingfield

Click to play

*Source: Spotify (Web Player)

Beautiful song: If You're Not The One - Daniel Bedingfield

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I grew up on this track... it was a beautiful song then and it's a beautiful song now that I'm listening to it again

I love this guys vocals... plus; he's quite an attractive guy too... I've liked a few other songs from him as well... wonder what happened to him

#reflectonyoungeryears


7Cups: A Place For Letting Go + Update On Schooling

Recently, I started on a program through my 7Cups app that is designed for helping people with depression, anxiety, and anything else that may affect them. Self diagnosed or not; I matter and I am of value. 

This all is truly life changing so far and I am already speaking with a great listener (trainer therapist) about my issues. Combating things one step at a time.

I'm participating in a 7 day growth program so far (currently on day 3) and will be moving onto the next phase after this program is over. 

I'm learning of techniques like mindfulness, breathing exercises, positive affirmation, and speaking with people in a robust community of kind and thoughtful help.

In terms of goals. I recently put in my application for obtaining a high school diploma with a degree in Homeland Security but have yet to hear back from the Walmart Lifelong department about whether I've been approved or not.

Basically I take a prerequisite for 2 weeks and it will determine my eligibility to whether …

Lie

Truth

If your expectation is too high; you will always have bad luck.

Random Things I've Said (That sometimes made people laugh)

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I love Marshmallows but no... Peeps make me want to vomit profusely until I have to go to Starbucks and get a refresher to calm myself #forreal I was going to send an email but then I found a coupon for Dunkin' Donuts and it was over from there You mentioned Netflix in your email but truth be told... you got that wrong too... just like most of the email... it's called HULU Coffee shops remind me of You've Got Mail  I did truly want to try once... butttt then I had a bagel and it was over from there The shade was so deep; I had to call Life Alert Saying your name gives me mono  If I were a porch, you would fall under it I think I understand why Trump is the way he is... he's a power bottom

Classical Music

Today is a relatively good day for me. Though the stress of work seems overwhelming and tiring; today seems like one of those relaxing days where you spend time indoors relaxing as the rain is overtaking the outdoors.

As I got off of work a few minutes ago because today is our short day; classical music played in the car and each soundbite traveling to take you somewhere beyond your normal route of living evaded me.

It's a rather fond experience. It makes you feel like the rich kids driving around in Jaguars and swiping their no limit black cards in upscale parlors across the cities they live in. Though for me, it felt like a dream where I had no worries or judgements failing me.

What makes classical music so powerful is that you're not impeded with a preset emotion. You can literally think and feel exactly how you want to feel. 

Thank you 89.3 for playing wonderful music and uplifting me to a therapeutic place of tranquility and solitude. 

Essential Oils for Weight Loss

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Very informative video. I've been research a lot on essential oils lately and I'm liking what I've been learning lately. Check out this video and learn why essential oils are so great from a doctor himself.

PS: This guy is very sexy to me :)

I let you get away with it

Because I had a heart that forgave. I had a hope that you could be better than that. I had a dream that you would learn from your mistakes.

I was wrong.

Keywords: Fake people

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It has nothing to do with money

I don't like rich people because they are judgmental narcissists that feed off of people who are less than them in terms of social climb and degrees.

Money should NEVER define who you are or what you do. At the same time, if I were to become a rich kid tomorrow; I wouldn't be like some rich people and take vacations every two weeks to lavish places and spend way too much money on simple items like a bath towel or a freaking robe.

Being humble isn't having a great financial life. It's KNOWING who you are and what you offer people in such a positive way. Like how you make a person feel.

For example, I may not have money like some people but I have a big heart (unless you piss me off) and I'm the type that feels being in tune with your surroundings is more than going out every weekend to get plastered at some upscale bar (Europe; I'm talking to you).

I have a lot of wise experience with being hurt by people; so I can offer those who are just coming into their own …

You're frozen; when your hearts not open

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If I could melt your heart

Changes (Lyrics)

Wake up
Get into fast moving cars
New days
We've come so far

I'm strong enough to carry the wind
I'm bold enough to call you in
Call you in

Head up
Body talks
New ideas
We've got them all

I'm good enough to make you smile
I'm kind enough to make it all worthwhile
Worthwhile

Oh, we're beautiful
Oh, it's forever
Yeah, we're beautiful; beautiful
We're beautiful
Oh, we're valuable; valueable
Cause God takes us on
Feed the change

Fall asleep
Loudness on the screen
Hot nights
We've got a lot to like

I'm faithful enough to make it through
I'm clever enough to show you how
Show you how

Oh, we're beautiful
Oh, it's forever
Yeah, we're beautiful; beautiful
We're beautiful
Oh, we're valuable; valueable
Cause God takes us on
Feed the change

I'm good enough
I'm strong enough
I'm faithful enough
I'm beautiful enough

Oh, we're beautifully broken
So here's to hoping
We've got the best of friends
Ca…

You Never Know (Lyrics)

You hate me; thats fine
You don't care about me; so this is goodbye
But somewhere we're still laughing like kids

I've said some messed up things
I've been one; to never follow my dreams
Of all the mistakes I've made
I ended up with you

It's funny how life turns you down
The feel of the moment; the loss of sound
The world caves in; you've lost a friend
Death overtakes you; but we're still living
Sometimes I wonder what I would be like
If I had never met this foreign type
Would I expect someone else?
Would I feel like I'm still beautiful?
Sometimes; you never know

I used to wish at night
Wish that we could get things right

We're two kids stuck in our own fight
Everyone around us dies

It's funny how life turns you down
The feel of the moment; the loss of sound
The world caves in; you've lost a friend
Death overtakes you; but we're still living
Sometimes I wonder what I would be like
If I had never met this foreign type
Would I expect so…

Ex Lovers (Lyrics)

I met your former
Last night
I sent him a message
He replied
Is that the same one
That did me wrong?
Why did you like it; like it?

We talked and talked
For hours, hours
We made a plan
To remember
Never give up
We all deserve change
Reflections in the light
Take back our good names

We are all ex lovers; lovers
Spinning lies; under cover; cover
Crying and screaming for others; others
We are all ex lovers; lovers
And I'm not the last one
You will play
Call me stupid; steer hate my way
My mind is a temple; my heart is the key
I'm not the last one
That you will delete

Last night I tried to call you; call you
Voicemail says that you won't do; won't do

My heart beats in islands; islands
Your words echo the silence; the silence

I thought I knew who you were
Years thrown under the clouded hurt

We thought we could change each other
Nothing is right if we bother

We are all ex lovers; lovers
Spinning lies; under cover; cover
Crying and screaming for others; others
We are all ex lo…

Story (Lyrics)

I look around
See nothing
Shadows fall
I listen for the sound
Hear nothing
Angels call

I'm getting used to this silence
I expected this moment

My words are detaching
My mind is still reacting

When does it stop hurting?
You already got what you wanted, no
When does it mean just a little bit more?
You made your point, now go out the door
I'm somebody else, nothing can shake me down
My heart on fire, but my smiles are frowns

So God I'm calling, I'm in need
So God I'm calling, heal me

I try
Get nothing
People talk
Love seems too cheap

I've been terrorized
My childhood built on crimes
The world I see
Justified in hating me
Left with bitter lies


When does it stop hurting?
You already got what you wanted, no
When does it mean just a little bit more?
You made your point, now go out the door
I'm somebody else, nothing can shake me down
My heart on fire, but my smiles are frowns

So God I'm calling, I'm in need
So God I'm calling, heal me

They've twist…

Matthew 22

Judge not; lest you be judged.

Let It All Go

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List: Songs for those suffering breakups, betrayals, or other harsh setbacks

1. Jojo - Leave (Get Out)
2. Carrie Underwood - Starts With Goodbye
3. Birdy - Words As A Weapon
4. Oh Wonder - Drive
5. Carrie Underwood - Lessons Learned
6. Kina - Girl From The Gutter
7. Natalie Grant - Love Has Won
8. Birdy - Wings
9. Goldfrapp - Hunt
10. Lucy Rose - Middle Of The Bed
11. Oh Wonder - Without You
12. Beyonce - Disappear
13. Taylor Swift - Bad Blood
14. Natalie Imbruglia - Torn
15. Sheryl Crow - Strong Enough
16. The Ropes - Too Cool To Love
17. Noosa - Fear Of Love
18. Christina Aguilera - Beautiful
19. Christina Aguilera - Fighter
20. Christina Aguilera - Keep On Singing My Song
21. RHODES - Somebody
22. Birdy ft. RHODES - Let It All Go

I will update this list as I find more :)

Words As A Weapon by Birdy (Lyrics) - My thoughts all in one song

I feel your knife as it goes right in
Cut to my core but I'm not bleeding
All that you say trying to make me small
Well, the bigger you get the harder you fall You use your words as a weapon dear
But your blades don't hurt when you have no fear You think that you're deep under my skin
You're trying to keep me suffering If you use your words as a weapon
Then as a weapon, I'll shed no tears You have my heart but I lock it up
This burning flame has been burnt enough
My window's cracked they can be replaced
But your arm will tire throwing stones my way You use your words as a weapon dear
But your blades don't hurt when you have no fear You think that you're deep under my skin
You're trying to keep me suffering If you use your words as a weapon
Then as a weapon, I'll shed no tears I feel your knife as it goes right in You use your words as a weapon dear
But your blades don't hurt when you have no fear You think that you're deep under my skin
You're tr…

Reflections: Using your own words to interpret my own view

Dus, als ik denk terug aan alle dingen die je gedaan hebt voor mij. De jaren dat ik het gevoel heb verspild aan een zielig excuus voor een man. Ik weet dat althans het uiteinde; mijn hart zat.

Bij het onderzoek en zien dat een cultuur van het houden van geld (een belangrijke zonde in de Bijbel) en het idee dat minder van het betekent dat je minder bedragen; Ik spreek in Nederlandse termen die hier (letterlijk) - het is zeer verontrustend dat ik gebruikte om te denken dat je de cultuur en manier van leven was beter dan de mijne. Nu zie ik dat ik precies waar ik moet zijn en moet zijn.

Ik gebruikte om een ​​obsessie met Europa en ik wilden gaan naar Europa voor de langste tijd als gevolg van deze valse idee dat open en liberale gedrag op straat werden getoond. Geld niet tellen als een waarde voor iets anders dan eenvoudig overleven en het idee dat misschien mensen in Europa zijn vriendelijker dan de mensen in Amerika zijn als het gaat om mijn seksualiteit.

Ik had het mis echter.

Ik heb …

Thank you

First let me start with the fact that I knew before you came out with it. I knew that the photos you were using were a bit different from the ones I knew before. I still don't know the person you were impersonating whenever I first met you; considering you look NOTHING like the people you used.

Good job, you should get into acting since you are so good at being cold and hurtful. It's not a great trait but why not be the greedy person you are and instill that love of money towards a different kind of project.

Remember the time when I commented in a conversation how different you looked (when you showed me pictures of Erick) and claimed that you've been doing something different with your style...and then of course you were thanking Val for it (I bought into it or so you thought by agreeing with your thoughts on the matter)

See, I've known for a long time that you were playing something. I just didn't think you would do it for a THIRD time. Here in America we have a …

You use your words as a weapon dear

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Then as a weapon; I'll shed no tears

I guess we're at our best; when we're miles away

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Okay, so this was my favorite song when I was a teenager

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Yass girl <3

Why I'll Never do a Dutchman again

Why I'll Never do a Dutchman again



NOTE: I agree and I have made a lot of mistakes that you supposedly shouldn't make. I'm glad to be an American. I can wear makeup and dress up and I can flirt if I want to.

Loving you is too hard

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I don't know who you are; I'm the same anymore

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A Leo I work with told me... (UPDATED)

Leo's bounce back from heartbreak and betrayal... girl, yes... God's taken control of the situation because he knew I needed him...

Some things to get off my chest... (no anger intended... just being blunt)

1. I'm not stupid

2. I'm not the one to blame (yeah, you tried to blame it all on me but you were the one who played me... so about that)

3. I don't care what you do to me; I'm gonna do me

4. You can't change people (the whole time I knew you; you were trying to change me to fit into YOUR life without realizing that accepting people isn't changing them)

5. I helped give back something you couldn't give me; your welcome

6. You twisted EVERYTHING I've ever told you in confidence against me (cold to the core)

7. You can't sweet talk your way out or into everything and you should wake up before you start believing your own lies

8. Sexual tension = hookup ho... and I'm not a hookup type... nice try though

9. Immaturity has come from EVERYO…

I heard you're going round, playing the victim now... what, don't

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Great start to a pretty awesome day

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#shockinglyhealthy

Amen

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Take Control EP (In Progress)

Hey loves,

As part of my process, I will be working on new musical material. A lot of work will be pushed into this. Bare with me.

This EP is meant to be raw, and untethered by heavy edits. An EP to expose what I feel and reflect on my past, present, and discover my future.

Here is the first title track (conceptual and not final but raw for sure):


To cover or to not cover

Christina is calling to me right now. Girl, I'ma get it hunty.

Shots, shots, shots

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Yayy :)

#moveon #freedom #withmybestfriend

Karma's gonna visit you too

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Lyrics: 
For all the things you said I'd never do
For all the things you said that were untrue
For all the times you made me feel alone
Said I'd never make it on my own

(chorus 1)
Things are lookin' up for me now
Seems like Karma's makin' its rounds
Its my turn now, won't be held down no
Karma's gonna visit you too
You gotta pay for the things you put me through
I hope you do, I hope you do, yeah, yeah

(chorus 2)
I hope your hell is filled with magazines
And on every page you see a big picture of me
And under every picture the caption should read
Not bad for a girl from the gutter like me

For all the times you said "I got your back"
For all the times you stabbed me
For all the times you tried to hurt my pride
For all the pain I held down deep inside

(Chorus 1)
Things are lookin' up for me now
Seems like Karma's makin' its rounds
Its my turn now, won't be held down no
Karma's gonna visit you too
You gotta pay for the things you…

My new favorite song.... the beat itself is lovely (Electronic)

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Time to be soldiers.

Cheap words

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I left you a beauty mark

Beautiful song

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Lyrics:



You're spinning out of control again
Your life feels like a sinking ship
You're wondering how it came to this




Is it too late?
Is it too far?
For Him to reach you
And come to where you are




Step out on the edge
Don't be afraid of it
And when you feel the rain
Call His name
He'll find you in the hurricane




You're in the wreckage underneath
Your hope is buried somewhere deep
You're wondering how long it will keep?




It's never too late
Never too far
For you to reach out
And take a hold of love




Step out on the edge
Don't be afraid of it
And when you feel the rain
Call His name
He'll find you in the hurricane




Don't back down from the fight
He'll shelter you tonight
Just hold on for the change
Call His name
He'll find you in the hurricane




There's a place, there's a place you can run
When you fall, and it's all come undone
You'll be safe in the raging storm
So just let go
'Cause you are held in His arms




Step out on the edge
Don't be afraid of it
And wh…

I've never felt so torn before; seems I don't know where to start

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No such as thing as perfect people

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I'm not perfect; I'm beautifully broken. Come as you are.

Take control

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There is hope

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I give it to you God. I give it all to you.

Crying out... breathing in

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God; never let me go.

Fight Another Day - Addison Road

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Man will fail you but God is always there. Let go, Let God.

Rise above it...no such thing as impossible

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God; take it all because I'm unable...

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Let it go...

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</3

Prank Channels Need To Die!

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I agree with her 100% - introducing my (real) friend Karina. Girl, thank you for the support on my channel <3

Truth

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About that...

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To all the FAKE Euro trash out there...

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FUCK YOU.

Boy In A Box

My heart is in pieces
And you are the reasonNo care or shame
Just empty gamesMindless defeat
Another fucked up week
I'm just trying to breatheLost a friend in overdoses
Say what you want but I will know that...
I'm better off on my ownAnd I've known this for years
Of all the nights I feared
Someone like youTake what you think you have
Break every emotion I show
Nothing is right and nothing left to holdI don't belong in your selfish ways
Money thrown to buy my faith
But nothing compares to this
Forgetting what you did
And all I gave in you
It's amazing; how much I hate youYou can't change a heart that doesn't beat for you
You can't make me smile or feel like the sun is on my side
It's too much for me to try or careGiving up on a ghost I knew right here
A picture built on deceit and tearsNothing shames you
Can I even blame you?I guess the truth is my flight to falling away
Sad to know that I'd rather die than stayYou don't even feelI don'…

Catfished... new year; new heartache

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TO BAS (AKA ERICK) & VAL:

I want you to think about the fact that I sacrificed my own love in you so you could find the love you were badly in need of. I gave you what you wanted. I helped you find love when I was in need of finding it myself. I don't need your hate. I needed your support in finding myself. To that; I thank you because you held that much. The end is sweet isn't it?

Since day one, lies have speculated most of our years. I have known you (or the person you've created from time to time) for 8 years. The pain that I feel from this is unlike any other pain I've felt in a long time. Thank you for destroying any hope I had in anyone. Think of that whenever you go about treating someone like crap at the expense of who you 'love' and care for.

Upon a conversation with Val this evening, it's clear that he made this happen. I get it. Jealousy, posh behavior, and the occasional fake lines all seem to be the trend for European men; and yes.. I will …

God's greatest gift to all

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Is it bad...

So I've been going to the gym a lot lately. My friend and I have really bonded again over our Fitness goals but a very charmingly tall and fit blonde has been eyeing me lately. Should I approach him or should I leave it be as an innocent gym flirt? I feel on one hand, it's a great opportunity and on the other hand...it's a possibility that it would lead to an awkward moment (or two)
Oh God, please give me a sign. It would be amazing if he would just approach me and talk to me already.Dreams...it's all just mere dreams darling

I'm just trying to feel alive again

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Gonna love myself, no, I don't need anybody else

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Confusion

I'm not sure what to think. Name changes, face changes, it's all a bit cloudy.I'm going to let go of this confusion and let God handle it. I'm not mad, I'm just confused at this point and God knows what needs to be done. It's all yours God.#keepitmoving #dontgiveup