Showing posts from February, 2016

Ambiguous Sexuality

The other day I was discussing with a friend about how cloudy sexuality can be. We live in a world where shade is everywhere and no one wants to own up to their true nature. Instead we promote the idea that it's okay to lie about things to validate our social standing in everyday life and that; is not okay.

There is a growing epidemic of 'bromance' and 'if I suck dick, I'm still straight because he didn't fuck me' stance going on. The fact of the matter is; if you enjoy it... to me; you're no longer straight... that's like me sleeping with a girl and enjoying it but still claiming to be completely gay... at that point I would in reality be bisexual because I found an attraction to a woman and therefore it changed my mind on something that wasn't known prior.

I personally think the word bromance is stupid. The whole thing to me is just a prefabricated social idea that a so-called straight guy can get away with doing things that gay men do but sti…

Favorite E.L.F Products (2016)

So lately I’ve been on an E.L.F kick to try a few products that I hadn’t given much thought to trying before.Here’s what I gathered recently:-Lip Balm Tint (Berry & Nude)-Studio Bronzer Palette (Bronzed Beauty)-Smudge Pot (Cruisin’ Chic)-Jumbo Lip Gloss (Nude)-Studio Ultimate Blending Brush
First, let me start off with the fact that I loved every single one of this items. I’m a very picky person with makeup. I only want the best to sit in my collection; who doesn’t though?
Out of all of the items recently purchased here; I would say my favorite is the Smudge Pot. It reminds me so much of my Maybelline Color Tattoos and it’s almost a 75% price reduction in comparison.The pigmentation is amazing. You can apply it to get sheer coverage simply by patting it onto your lids; if you want full coverage; just rub it into your lids and apply it once or twice for the best results. The color Cruisin’ Chic is simply gorgeous and really make my blue eyes pop. The irredecence of the color arrangem…

I'm okay

I have to realize that I'm okay
It's okay to feel a certain type of way

This entrapment between fear and security
The idea invented to keep me from history

I feel like no one understands me
I wish that people could be more honest

It hurts when you call out for a friend
But they won't bother to let you in

No tears or signs of being human
Just an idea that they have to be the happy one


Love and silence

Part of my anxiety issues is the fear of being too independent. I get to sit back and see everyone around me find their perfect match and the whole time; I'm left with the idea that at least with cheesecake; I'll feel some sort of emotion.

There is this kid in me that used to think that if I gave a little; I'd get a lot back but that isn't always how life works and unlike others; I'm not going to try and convince someone that my opinion is the right one.

I've done a great job at pairing people. I paired my sister with her now husband. I paired my friend Bas with his (at the time) ex boyfriend. I've got a knack for making everyone else happy.

But what about me? What about what I want?

It became apparent the other night that I have a clear intent to guys. They mostly view me as the fuck boy that they can not commit to but have the fun they are ashamed to talk about. I feel like I'm secretly Marylin Monroe and guys won't ever take me seriously or respe…

I've tried everything

If anyone knows a program that would work well on Mac OS X Mavericks (10.9.5) in order to access my blogger in a more intuitive interface; please let me know.

I've tried Blogo (horrible support for media - virtually all of my SoundCloud embeds didn't show up) and I also gave BlogTouch a chance and it seems the overall interface is too small and the fonts are rancidly scratchy looking.

Is there something free available? Maybe even using the Chrome Browser but utilized as an application instead of visiting the website constantly?


As Children - IX - 2015 (In memoriam of Mandy Spivey)

Mandy was a close friend of mine. Someone I grew up with and someone that wanted to be around a lot of times. She and I would joke and laugh and from time to time; spend time outside of school to enjoy what was our younger years and time that was meant to be cherished as we got older.

As time passed by, years would shed and in 2011; news of her passing came swiftly from a close call between myself and another close friend of Mandy's to which was a moment that I couldn't hardly bare.

Mandy was only 20 years old when she died.

If you or anyone is suffering from suicidal thoughts or simply need someone to talk to; please visit this site and get help that you need. You are not alone.

Hey (For Fun) EP (2016)

Unleashed: Induction of Distortion Pop
This EP represents a new chapter in my experimental journey. Finding my sound; inviting unlikely ideas into my process; and embracing a diverse collective of what used to be shamed. Welcome.