Growing up, I was never the popular kid that got invited to parties and things; mostly because I kept to myself a lot. I was hurt by a lot of people; some I knew and invested in and others I didn't even say hi to on first glance.
The more I think over it and the more I look at life for what it is; the more I realize that it's good that I have an independence in me that gets stronger and stronger everyday. I have no need for social interactions because I am already validated in who I am; and I don't feel it necessary to keep trying to prove what worth I have to people who are unwelcoming or for lack of a better word; can't appreciate me.
At the end of the day; I'd like to help people. I'd like to have a lasting impact on people's lives but I fear that sometimes; I'm day dreaming and thinking I can offer this change but reality is settling in and I'm seeing that we can only help ourselves. Change is on-going. You can't expect things to be perfected; to acknowledge you; to feel accomplished; or to build in a notion of prosperity. It is what it is.
As I get older; I know that feeling upset over setbacks are simply hurting myself. Those people that do me wrong or feel like their actions are overlooked simply because of some smiles, cute words, and a great wit for humor; they are fooling themselves. You can hurt people easily with a simple word or look. This is the unfortunate side effect of people in general.
We are on a one track towards our own gain but we neglect to understand that helping another is the direction meant for us. Civilization did not expand and become a knowledge driven planet from a simple conversation. It developed from on hand activity from one another. It became because we pushed past our setbacks as people and decided to be above it.
I'm able to feel content being on my own because I don't need another person to validate my feelings. I'm going to feel how I feel at the end of the day and there is nothing you can do to change that. Kindness is a reputable medication for life's short comings and problems and people lack the understanding required to accomplish such a notion. It's unfortunate, but it's true.
When someone treats you differently; it's because they aren't able to appreciate the amazing qualities that you offer. They are harbouring their own issues and it's taking an effect on their overall demeanour. It's important in life to let go and smile when the times are of major strife. You deserve to smile because some people will never have that luxury in their lives.
People are a weakness for me. This is why I've let people walk over me, lie to me, play my heart like an iPhone game, and sleep with me when they should of never experienced my love in any form. I'm proud to say that today, I'm more guarded, more aware, and more true to myself and my nature that I won't allow this behavior around me.
I refuse to be used, manipulated, or talked down to (including to my face) by people who think that their ways, their words, and their actions are higher or better than myself. You are still weak at the end of it all and you're a fool if you think that perfection is in anyone other than God because if we were perfect; we'd have no purpose for this life that we live.
The problem with people today is that they are hung up on their pasts. They are lost in their battles and upset with the outcomes they have. People are ungrateful and demanding of things. It's sad but it's not the end. We have to get above ourself to fully understand the wise choices that resonate around us. We have to become the better halves. Who else will?
Remember. You are not perfect; stop trying to be. You will make mistakes but you are also going to be held accountable for everything you say and do. Do you want to die knowing you hurt someone for no legitimate reason? Do you want to die someday knowing you made a fool of someone you cared about because you couldn't face yourself or the issues you were harbouring at the time?
Think before you act. Only you can change your direction.