December 31, 2013

Don't expect it

I'm not waiting for the new year just to hear you. You beat around the bush and I need to say this; it pisses me off because if you are going to do something; you should do it. Stop just talking about it.

Either way, happy new year I guess. I won't be waiting around the corner forever. I hope you keep that in mind next time. I'm getting too old for this pushover shit.

I deserve more respect than that.


You're mad at the world
For all the hurt it brings
You're mad at the world
For all the lies they feed

You wished every time that they would understand 
Man can't see past what's there past your hands
Pretty eyes and a resilient face
Puts you back at first base

You're mad at the world
For all the hurt it made you feel
You're mad at the world
For everything you didn't get 
You're mad at the world
For all the nights you were alone
You're mad at the world
Misunderstood girl
You're mad at the world
For everything

Turn the lights off
Try to carry away this pain
They will always ignore your intent
They push you so far away

What reason do you have to act like that?
What have I broke in you, for us to subtract?

You're mad at the world
For all the hurt it made you feel
You're mad at the world
For everything you didn't get 
You're mad at the world
For all the nights you were alone
You're mad at the world
Misunderstood girl
You're mad at the world
For everything

If I could make you understand
Few words and empty hands 
I'm not trying to steal your heart
I just want someone to help me start

You've got so much to kill
Such a good one but it's unreal
How could you be so vain?
Keep pushing me away

You keep pushing me away

Someday I won't be here
What will you think when you can't repair your name?
Someday I won't be here
What do you think I would have said?

Small talk
I'm already dead

Giving you up

To all the boys in the world.... you think you're such a special one...

Pretentious. Unemotional. Narrow. Deceitful.

When I think of all the lies, the ridicule I get for being androgynous, the way men will look at me and objectify me as if I have no importance or value is sick. Your a bunch of twisted fucks and I'm over it.

I'm tired of these 'straight' boys coming around... asking me this, asking me that and badgering me for a photo just to ridicule my gender because I'm not qualified for what they really want but won't admit to... I know half of you assholes just want to bang and go but some of us are too classy for that and YOU can't handle it. YOU can't handle the fact that good people are out there; so you try your best to destroy us.

If I'm crazy; I'm crazy sane. YOU guys are the fucked up ones. Treating people like they aren't worth and then expecting us to return the favor with a smile and some greetings from our tammy.

I'm NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. falling for you. AT ALL. As part of this new year; I'm quitting dating; I'm quitting love. I'm going to focus on MY wants for a change. FUCK all of you douchebag men that can't treat a guy (or girl) right. If you're not worth my time or have a benefit to my life; you're out the door. As far as I'm concerned; I can do much better than this. I don't deserve to feel like shit all the time because you want to be fucked up towards me.

YOU'RE the reason this world is fucked up. YOU'RE the reason we've all given up.

It's true. The prettier you are; the worse your attitude is. I'd rather date someone who isn't attractive with a good heart; than someone who is attractive and full of lies, rudeness, and conceit. FUCK that.

I'm out....

December 30, 2013

Project names (possibilities)

the fm. - the fear machines (or fm)
wayne - where are you now emery? (last name has no correlation to a.e. - just sounds cool)
cf - clever faces (inspired by an EP I never finished)

Such an early 90s song

Made, in our era today. There is hope for music after all.

It also stars the hottest Swedish man that ever lived. I'm in love with Alexander Skarsgard.

December 28, 2013

Fuck off mix (Go-to Playlist)

All I have to say to you is...

If you don't know what you want

Then don't bother trying to 'know' me. I'm also not letting you have me in any sexual way either. If you're getting to know me; you're supposed to get to know ME. Not my body parts.

How I've always felt

All I wanted was somebody who cares.

If all your good times passed you by

(One of the few Mainstream artists I like)

I feel this way

Your face

This is why I can't stand you...

You have no respect for anyone but yourself
You lie out your ass all the time and pretend like you don't
You ignore someone when they are clearly trying to reach out to you
You hate on me for no reason and you will NEVER tell me why
You hold grudges over the stupidest shit
You act like you're the best thing to ever have been born

So seriously dude, what the fuck? 

Am I that bad of a person for you to treat me like I'm a fucking trash dump? 

You need a reality check... 

I've done everything I can to show you that we could be friends but you clearly would rather be a shithead about it than man up and take responsibility for your actions; you're not a fucking man.... you're a fucking child... and I don't babysit; so fuck off

December 27, 2013

The truth about you

Some life choices are harder than others but this one seems like one I need to do soon enough when I'm able to. I need to part ways from this town. I've learned that you only have yourself in life and sometimes; it's better to enjoy that in a new environment than one filled with bad memories and people that are carelessly using you for their advantages. 

I want more than what I am getting out of people and maybe my expectations are simply too high but I am worth it and it saddens me that I even have to compromise myself to fit into these lies that are thrown at me.

I've had so many offers to get away from here but I turned them down because I thought that you mattered in some way but you've always used me for your wants and needs and then shut me out when it wasn't convenient for you. You play cat and mouse with people around me (for what reason I never understood because I get who I want; and if not; they aren't impressive enough anyway)

You've caused stress, drama, lied, played me countless times (and I always forgave you) and you don't want me to meet your friends because you say that I wouldn't fit in with them but the truth is; you're afraid they would take a liking to me. You're afraid of being alone again. I get it and I'm over it.

I've battled this feeling for almost 7 years now and it's time to let go of this. It's time for me to focus on being happy with my own life because you surely don't have a desire to be in it nor include me in your own because of whatever selfish reasons you have. Your boy toys aren't impressive by the way; I know for me personally, I deserve better than those and I know I can find great ones that would trump anything they do. I'm just throwing it out there little miss sunshine.

What I'm getting at is soon enough; I'm going to write up a list of things I want to do. Where I want to go, people I want to meet, places I want to see. I need to provide myself with more excitement in life because you (as a friend... funny term for someone who is never around) aren't doing a good job of that and frankly; you're not an exciting person to me anymore; but I'll let that sink in for awhile so you can comprehend it; considering you've smoked all your brain cells over the years more than likely.

It's okay if you're mad or you hate me with a passion now because I'm not missing you or your drama. I've hid myself behind this wall because I felt like I needed to but all this time; all I needed to do was get out of your twisted game of fucking me up so I can be shit just like you are. I'm my own person darling and contrary to what you may be offered; I have more to offer than what you've seen and I will never accept your idea of friendship as valid because friends don't hurt their friends. They don't ignore them either and if that's your way of showing you care; I'll return the favor as equally as possible but I won't stop if you do.

On the subject of men, I like to think I'm a great person that people won't know about because like other selfish souls; they neglect the core ingredient in getting to know people; communication. If you want my love; you have to earn it. It never comes easily. I will never give it away either and I don't settle. I don't need to.

You brag about how many guys you've rattled and who you've rattled like it's some accomplishment but the truth is; it's not something you should brag of. It makes you look trashy and pathetic. It's sad that your life has become so empty to only include things of this nature rather than you actually going out into the world and making yourself worth something.

I guess when it comes to these guys; they are content with disrespecting you because you are content with it. You accept what they give you because it's all you have. It's all you feel now. You feel nothing. I can see it in your eyes when we've talked.

Maybe I am crazy secretly; and you just want to pretend I'm like you and such but I'm not. I never have been. I've only witnessed your idea of what you thought we shared in common but it's nothing worth mentioning.

I've felt for years now that I needed to erase you from my life; to separate myself from you because you felt so strong on bending me and molding me into this 'thing' that you are. I don't want to be like you. I don't want to be you. I never have. I never will.

The truth is; I'm too good for you. I'm a lot better than what you've tried to paint me to your little group of friends that I am sure would never understand me if they tried. I don't care though because I have my own motive in life. I want more than to sit around all day and just talk about shit. I want to do that stuff I talk about and I'm planning on doing them.

What have you done with your life lately? Who are you making happier? Who have you helped lately? What is your purpose these days?

I'm not so sure you could ever get out of this cycle of acting like a pathetic child. All I know is that I won't be around to see or deal with it. While you fail to have something attainable; and no... relationships are not an accomplishment so don't even try to win on that one because it's not a life improvement; regardless of what they may offer you... Get a fucking job... get a life... quit acting like the world owes you because you're 'crazy'... yeah, you're not crazy... you're just a fucked up little child that never got to grow up... and I feel bad for that; I really do but it's time for you to get up and control your life... you're never going to fully be happy and I'm getting there.... I'm not sticking around to allow you to kill that for me... I deserve happiness... something you will never understand or know about

I'll be honest too... I'm never talking to you again; contrary to the past... this time is real... don't think I will... because I can do and did better... and I will again and again because you're WORTHLESS to me... you always have been... and nothing good comes from being around you... if there was anything good.... you kill it every time because your a selfish bitch.... and I told you that you weren't but it's a lie... it's all been a massive lie... like your life.... a lie...

And the only reason you don't want people to say the 'w' word is because you know it's true. We all do. That, will never change. Have fun catching diseases. If you die from one; don't think I would ever care... you brought it on yourself...

Just like all that blood that comes out your ass cause you don't know how to take care of yourself and give yourself a break.... nasty as hell....

Ciao miss jezebel... ciao

Always on repeat... fucking jerk

I'm over it, I'm over you.

Coffee, love stories, tired eyes

You crave it all
That spark from afar
Having all of me
Providing nothing
I'll get where I want
I stay where I'm never needed
You take what you get
A world like dust
You want me to want you
I don't want you
I don't crave your love
I don't know you
You don't own me
Oh faceless beauty
Your pain is a ghost
My words coerce
You have no hope
I walk
So behind you lay
Farther I return
Small steps
I'm someone again
Who are you?
A game played
Goodbye boy
Man is not defined by sizes
These footsteps will keep rising
I've got it now
My heart like islands

December 19, 2013

Giving Up On You

All the games you play
The lies stuck in the way
Your promiscuity that stays
The anguish to get away
Feeling like a useless hole
Begging for more in my soul
All the hurt that you bring
The difficulty that you keep
All the words you kill
The people that you feel
All the pills you take to smile
The only thing that makes you worth while
Addiction so heavy like a sword
I'm not there anymore
I give up on you
You're just a whore

Still Thinking Of You

Where have you gone? :(

December 18, 2013

It's public

I find it sad that we live in a world where if you don't have a car; you're considered a freeloader. It's called public transportation; use it.

Time and time again; I've dated the kind of guys that think I won't put forth effort to see them; they're wrong.

I am willing to utilize every offering out there to make it work; whether it be purchasing a room to spend time together; getting dinner while riding in a cab; taking the bus to the store and so on. I want a New York state of mind on a Dollar store budget. 

In short, I've decided that people are just assholes. There is no hope for humanity.

December 16, 2013


7 Ways to Make a Guy No Longer Interested In You

In my years, I've learned different ways that make a guy fall out of element when it comes to connecting to a person. For me, I've compiled a list of things to look out for as warnings to keeping yourself prepared if you plan to keep that guy you've been loving lately.

1. Getting comfortable

Men are a complicated kind, they require a lot of adjustment, and a lot of space. However the two of you meet, you always want to show him that you don't need his participation; independence is a great weapon against an indecisive type. For women, say you meet a guy and you are all dolled up and looking sexy; don't lose sight of that. Men value someone who is confident, attractive, and full of adventure. Keep them guessing; they will surely stick around.

2. Saying 'I miss you' or 'I really like you a lot' too much

Words have the power to change everything. Take a song for example; lyrics can form or shape the output of a melody and a person's perception of a story. Be wary of strong words or 'hot words' that could lead you to silence and wonder. Men want to be wanted, but not overly wanted. They like having mystery because it means they don't have to worry about clingy behavior or having too high of expectations. 

3. Talking too much or being too open

You never want to tell someone the full story on a first date; or even on the second date either. Mystery makes for an endearing treat because it will keep the guy interested in digging in to find more things he doesn't know about you. The more you hide; the more he will want to find out about you. Instead of telling a full bio on yourself; opt for simple replies in short sequences that answer the question but without giving too many details; this keeps the guy interested without making things complicated. 

4. Teasing

It's okay to tease a little at first but don't go overboard. After awhile, men lose interest when they see they won't win in a situation. You have to be forward and blunt to make an impact. If a guy really wants to go on a date with you; make an effort to make it happen. After the first date; give a day or so before talking to him again. If he calls you; he's still interested; otherwise, push ahead with a short call, then wait until he's back around and snag him up.

5. Giving it up on the first date

Men love to play. It's in their nature. Allowing them too much play time can also allow them to leave you easier because they will see that you were easy or you didn't value yourself much and their respect for you will be lost. You have to keep them coming back for more. Instead of sleeping with him on the first date; give him a kiss; one that won't lead to other departments. This shows you're interested but shows that he will have to work a little harder to get to 'knowing' the entire you. Men love a challenge; it's what keeps them interested.

6. Sending 'naughty' pictures 

It's okay if you're just looking to hookup but even then; don't send all you have. Leave a guy guessing or wondering; this allows you time to figure him out and also time for him to come around when you want him to be there so you two can have a good time together. Giving too many details is the biggest mistake commonly made by many of us. This is a major factor in why so many are single today. 

7. Talking about your past constantly

A guy may ask you questions that could lead to your past. While it is easy to open the books and tell all; it's better to leave things out at first if you plan on keeping him around. Say your talking about your exes; don't mention negative things (this is because it could alter their perception of their 'you and I' theory) and never dwell on too many details. Guys don't care to know everything about your past at first because they simply want a summary; they will dive in later when things get more serious and they are ready to listen. 

Above all, keeping a guy guessing is your best weapon. If you let him have it all at first; he will lose interest almost instantly and getting him back will be a battle that you will most likely lose. Keep a guy in the waiting room so to speak; it will make for a great combination later.

December 15, 2013

I give up

My heart belongs to me and me alone. Your ignorance will never take me. I will rise above.

December 14, 2013

The beauty in life

Is knowing you won't ever be perfect and being content in who you are.

Message In A Bottle

Feel the shade under this skin
Life rated by curated judgements
Everybody wants to love
But it doesn't seem to show up

Written on fragile paper
Memory seems to be better
I'll leave it behind the dark
My light will be like the stars

Hide it behind the smiles
You wouldn't give me what I want
Given another apology
We feel the break in our bones
Our differences let us know 
It's better when we're alone

Wash me into a fall
You don't want me to take them all
Failure to resist their calls
Missing the truth behind the walls

And I need to know the things you feel
Your honesty doesn't seem real 
Why can't our hearts erase?
Bittersweet yesterday's 

Hide it behind the smiles
You wouldn't give me what I want
Given another apology
We feel the break in our bones
Our differences let us know 
It's better when we're alone
You wouldn't give me what I want
Our lives impossible 

I wish we could share everything like we belong
Two different faces, mastering other changes
If you look, you might as well talk

Feeling of this storm, leaving it all alone

Until you see behind these walls, you give to me

These lies, endless times, we need a change

December 13, 2013


Like water from the drain
Your heart so low
Decline such loves as these
Remembering the pain
Silence always spoken
Missing you but hoping
You change me
Like waves in the ocean

December 10, 2013

Of Tides

Your heart is a battlefield


Your heart is a battlefield

I feel myself going under

Your eyes are like porcelain

Nothing can erase what they've seen

My arguments mean everything

Your words are like fires

Burn me away

Take time, rearranged mind

Sudden ghost; in my life

We wait too long

Until we're all gone

Your heart is a battlefield

I feel myself going under here

Your eyes are like porcelain

Nothing can erase what they've seen there

My arguments mean everything, mean everything

If it's all that we will get

Count me in

Locked up in this cage

I won't stay another day

Close my eyes; find a way

To get me back to faith

Goals for 2014

So lately I've been thinking about moving forward. I want to gain instead of staying dormant. I got my goal last year and this year; I have three major goals. 

1. Get my license

I want to be able to drive and get out of the area when I feel I need it; especially on days off when I could really use a mini vacation.

2. Get a car

If I had a car, my relationships could be stronger than they are now; I could do more and see more people on my time instead of theirs.

3. Get an apartment

I've looked around the area and the cheapest rent I have been able to find is $299 a month with water, trash, and electric included. 

If I got a roommate; we would pay almost $150 each for it each month. This could work out to be a great starting place for me. 

Though it is on the other side of town; making it harder on me to get to and from work; it's a place to live and that's my biggest need right now.

2014 is going to be a very busy year for me but I have faith that it's going to be the start I need to get ahead. Wish me luck everyone; I'm going in with full force this time. I won't give up.

December 9, 2013

Like Wolves In The Night

Like wolves they hunt you in the night
Arrows shot from your lies

Boy or girl; you never tell
Innocent and clever fail

You want the worst of them
Hidden like stars in the earth
Like crystal gems
Our hearts decay like sins
You'd never take it back again
The words you killed in me

Young and hopeless on the run
Wasting time, show me your gun
Love, departure underneath the rain
Grow, from where I might of been okay

Walking beyond footsteps
Follow you here
Replacing me with foreign tears
The younger my eyes go weak
The harder my strength betrays me

And I just wanted more than you gave
I just picture my hollow stage
I just wished for saturday
Times for us to recover shame

I miss you, oh sweet pretend
Would you let me live?

You want the worst of them
Hidden like stars in the earth
Like crystal gems
Our hearts decay like sins
You'd never take it back again
The words you killed in me

I love you

December 8, 2013

Touch my garden


Heart hidden behind shiny glass
My lips revert what I have said
Wonder days beyond my younger years
Invisible touch with a system for fear

Would you be like the sun?
Radiate that good kind of love
So it may make me remain
I'll wash up your brain, uh huh

Arrows stuck inside your legs
Too scared to come back
Fortress of runaways
Our eyes meet in a haze

Would you learn like the great ones?
Takes more than a gun and some powder
Make everybody run
Run away

Heart hidden behind shiny glass
This love never lasts
For us

Still I want to feel the rush
Cold winds

Remember the times
Let them sink in

You'll never forget
This face that walks the vine
My heart on your mind

Oh darling love
Sing sweetly those lullabies

December 7, 2013

Your love story

Inspires me to find my own love story. I love you two and I hope you are both doing fantastically lately. 

December 6, 2013

Signs I'm addicted To

Here we go again I will say to the bad signs; many of which I can usually avoid from one simple ask of 'What's your zodiac sign?' but other times, it's a swift travel to get to one I actually like.

Taurus men tend to linger a bit into my life and I can't complain. In my experience, they share so many common interests and they are loyal enough that for a Leo; it's a fantastic match. I love the creative side in a Taurus, they're reserved side can be edgy and cute but stubborn moments make it a tough call for a Leo; I feel like compromise is the key here.

Once you can allow them their space for those moments; things can fall into place and it can be a great relationship. Also; a good note to add is that Taurus men are almost always super sexy to me. I love a guy that is just himself but naturally just sexy in his own right. Great style as well; which is a major benefit for a Leo. Leo's love style.

Aquarius men seem to have a fine balance between romance and serious timing. In my experience; Aquarius men often have a romantic side to them that make a Leo want to instantly fall in love. They take care of themselves and their beauty is something of unique proportions. Leo's and Aquarius' can be a great match if they can learn to make time for each other and communicate together. A general thing with men is communication; the better you are with that; the easier the relationship can work.

Libra men can offer up some excellent taste in food, style, and music, as well as a nice fond spark of art when needed. Libra's are romantic and sensual; caring, outspoken, but full of optimism and charm when needed. They give Leo's a great path towards starting new endeavours and they help Leo's to find the good in themselves when they've lost their way. Libra's are a sign of balance; they can mend with any sign but they can also be the most impatient; short tempered; and backstabbing of signs. Pick and choose your Libra's wisely. When you do find one that works for you though; it's a perfect match almost.

Generally, I like all signs in some way or another because I've met great people in every sign. Scorpios are great for coordination and business propositions, Aries are excellent friend signs and can be fantastic lovers, Other Leos can work well towards a Leo advantage; Capricorns are soft and wild at the same time; Leo's bring out their wild side; Sagittarius are great listeners but can be temperamental at all the wrong moments; Pisces are fun but they don't know there way and for a Leo; having no direction is a terrible thing.

Other signs are generally the same; slight and some major flaws, where a Leo could work and make anyone happen if given the right compromise. The key is compromise. Once you both compromise to fit with each other; you can have the best relationship you've wanted. You just have to try.

The signs I listed as addicted to are just a few; I find all kinds of signs addicting in their own way. For example; while a Scorpio may be hard to handle for a Leo sometimes; they are quite sexy in their own way. Cancer's are fun but some are bitchy and overdramatic which is not in Leo's life choices. Overall, it depends on who the person and what they've been through. All people are different; all signs are different in their own way. That's why even opposite signs can attract. You just never know.

Friendship VS. Aquaintences

It's a tough battle and one I'm growing up with as one of my former cares. I no longer give a shit about connections anymore because you aren't important if you can't find time to include me anywhere in your life; even for a moment. Friends don't cut friends out.

This past month has been a trial and error month and one I'd much rather not repeat again but we all know; history will repeat itself; it's inevitable.

On the upside; I'm learning slowly how to channel my frustration and anger into things that matter to me. For example; my want to not care at all about you. Yeah, I'm going there. I'm sick of this shit.

You'd rather meet some new person; spend all your time with them; cut me out for awhile; then when they're gone or you have no one to spend time with (of interest) - come right back to me and pretend we never were apart or that I had been affected by your shadowing.

You're closer to 30 than I am and I feel like I'm learning more about life at 24 than you've known for awhile now. I could be wrong but I feel like I'm losing you slowly and I think that given that ordeal; I might have to just cut you out for a change. I'm tired of being your odd back burner friend. I'm am not that type of guy.

and I will never be that guy. EVER.

So if you expect us to be friends; you better start acting like it... but I don't think you will considering you would rather smoke, sleep, flirt with some random asshole that doesn't even give a shit about anyone but himself, and pop your pills to make you sane... I'm good on that... I'm seeing that I really can do better... and I will

I'm over this. Goodbye child. Once you actually change and make a positive reinforcement in your life; we might could speak to each other; but I'm not willing to be friends again. I've fought high waters just to get your attention. If I have to fight other people (people we both rarely know) to get you to speak to me or hangout with me; it's not worth my time being wasted.

Ciao darling. Take care. May you be blessed in ways that I never saw happening to start with.

The start of something new

Isn't it lovely? I finally have my ears pierced; after waiting almost 25 years to get them done. 

This is a major deal for me, especially considering I didn't ever think I would crave these piercings but I decided recently; I want to start living more. 

Doing more things that I never would of done before. 

I've already got tattoo ideas, and a few plans to add some more piercings into the mix. I'm excited about this!

December 4, 2013

Dear fate

Bring me a man like Bradley Hale.

That beautiful pale face, those striking eyes, that soulful heart so full of emotion, those ambient lips.

His voice is full of such softness and beauty; any man that could sing like that is purely my kind of guy. 

I crave to fall in love again; I feel like this is the year to make it happen.

IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU. (A sad story about equality)

December 3, 2013

The beat takes me away

EXCLUSIVE LISTEN: Sombear - Love You In The Dark - Full Album Stream via Spotify

Listen to the full 'Love You In The Dark' album by Sombear (former of Now, Now)

Some favorite tracks I like from this album include:

#5 Easy Thief
#10 Rich Hair
#4 Love You In The Dark
#9 The Good
#6 Loose Ship

Overall, 'Loose Ship' would be one I fondly love most, it reminds me of some early demos I've heard from Darren Hayes (former Savage Garden)

Channels of my mind (AE)

I've been battling the hate that comes from a stranger lately. It's as if you just seeked out to destroy my spirit and decay everything good that I held high about you.

You can 'apologize' all you want but actions prove more than words. I find people with a genuine heart and a keen suspense for kindness to be the best trait for someone to embody. You've lost it. 

I'm not sure what you're going through and I feel terrible at times for reacting considering this is not worth reacting but I pity you lately, I feel like you must be battling something far more complex than I can manage to help. I don't understand it and I'm not going to try to. 

This situation was not my fault; I have to keep reminding myself this much because the way you are twisting things with silence makes it appear that I gave this to you. As a human being; I don't plan on anything close to what you are envisioning. I wanted something good between us but it apparently won't happen and you know what? That's completely okay because not everything works out in life. Not all situations get better.

When the time is right; the planets will align and we will hopefully speak again; I think it would be pretty cool actually. Whatever it is, I don't have a clue but I hope it's something that you are about to overcome and grow from; even if that means shutting out someone that genuinely just wanted to know about you. I wish you luck and I'm not sorry for meeting you. I'm just sorry I didn't see this one coming. 

I suppose you're smiling wonderfully in my misery right now. 

Keep smiling; because as much as it hurts to be treated like the outcast all over again; it's not going to kill me. If anything, I'll move on at some point and I won't even remember who you are or were. I forgot to mention that; I can forget someone completely if I so choose to but the problem is; I don't like doing it.

I wish you would just talk to me. Maybe I was too forward or too blunt for you? Maybe I said something that you didn't want to hear? Did I evoke a bad side? Did I change your perception of me? I won't ever know until you man up and discuss it with me. That's the biggest issue with men; there is no communication anymore.

I suppose I'll be here if ever the day comes that you actually manage to speak to me at all but I feel like it's too late now. You clearly hate me and for whatever reason it may be; I give you a sincere apology. I'M SORRY ADAM EMERY. I don't call out names usually but I've tried all I can to reach out to you to resolve whatever it is that has bothered you about me lately but I can only do what fate will allow me to do. 

I hope things are working out well for you and I hope that someday; whenever it may be, you can tell me all about it. Until then, cheers!

Meanwhile, I'm enjoying this track from a new album I'm planning on purchasing soon. Bradley Hale is a musical genius :)

When it snows outside... I feel like this...