Channels of my mind (AE)
I've been battling the hate that comes from a stranger lately. It's as if you just seeked out to destroy my spirit and decay everything good that I held high about you.
You can 'apologize' all you want but actions prove more than words. I find people with a genuine heart and a keen suspense for kindness to be the best trait for someone to embody. You've lost it.
I'm not sure what you're going through and I feel terrible at times for reacting considering this is not worth reacting but I pity you lately, I feel like you must be battling something far more complex than I can manage to help. I don't understand it and I'm not going to try to.
This situation was not my fault; I have to keep reminding myself this much because the way you are twisting things with silence makes it appear that I gave this to you. As a human being; I don't plan on anything close to what you are envisioning. I wanted something good between us but it apparently won't happen and you know what? That's completely okay because not everything works out in life. Not all situations get better.
When the time is right; the planets will align and we will hopefully speak again; I think it would be pretty cool actually. Whatever it is, I don't have a clue but I hope it's something that you are about to overcome and grow from; even if that means shutting out someone that genuinely just wanted to know about you. I wish you luck and I'm not sorry for meeting you. I'm just sorry I didn't see this one coming.
I suppose you're smiling wonderfully in my misery right now.
Keep smiling; because as much as it hurts to be treated like the outcast all over again; it's not going to kill me. If anything, I'll move on at some point and I won't even remember who you are or were. I forgot to mention that; I can forget someone completely if I so choose to but the problem is; I don't like doing it.
I wish you would just talk to me. Maybe I was too forward or too blunt for you? Maybe I said something that you didn't want to hear? Did I evoke a bad side? Did I change your perception of me? I won't ever know until you man up and discuss it with me. That's the biggest issue with men; there is no communication anymore.
I suppose I'll be here if ever the day comes that you actually manage to speak to me at all but I feel like it's too late now. You clearly hate me and for whatever reason it may be; I give you a sincere apology. I'M SORRY ADAM EMERY. I don't call out names usually but I've tried all I can to reach out to you to resolve whatever it is that has bothered you about me lately but I can only do what fate will allow me to do.
I hope things are working out well for you and I hope that someday; whenever it may be, you can tell me all about it. Until then, cheers!
Meanwhile, I'm enjoying this track from a new album I'm planning on purchasing soon. Bradley Hale is a musical genius :)