Language?

September 30, 2012

Those pretty boys

Never want of me but divide my spirit
try to break me down so I can't feel it
the love for me which waits above the ground
The healing that comes from having him around
Someday I'll blossom like stars
someday I'll be enough for your heart

September 22, 2012

Dear cold

I'd like to personally tell you that I despise you. You always come around when I'm starting to enjoy the seasons and then you hangout with me way too much and scare off all the people that I like to be around.

You make me stay up at night and it agitates me because I want so badly to sleep. The feeling of hammers hitting my face is a close resemblence of what you tend to provide. It makes me whisper in my head of times before when smiles were extremely common and the air was crisp without making me cough every 5 seconds.

Your presence is lame. I hate you cold. I hate you. I hate all of your nasty little tricks. I hate all of your stupid ideas. I hate that you don't want to leave when I tell you to.

FUCK you.

That's all I have to say for now. Seeing as your coughing won't let me speak much. Asshole.

Mind racing & overthought

So I'm stuck awake tonight. Meanwhile I have to work at 2pm today and I fear that my mind won't shut down nor will my cough.

I feel a tingling sensation in my throat; much like my former colds that doesn't seem to surprise me considering I'm always with cough with almost every sickness I get. No matter what it is.

During my mind's race to compete against time and the coughing; I started to think of things that I put off for some time now. A great example is how I've hated the hurt that came to me earlier this year when I actually did something for me instead of for the other guy.

I miss the cuddling and kissing sometimes. I miss being loved. I miss being wanted.

We used to sleep beside each other; arms fold and eyes shut. We used to be something to each other when no one else wanted us. I begged of your mercy when you left me. Ever since I've had this new found "career" so to speak; I can't help shake the feeling that part of me has become ugly to people. I mean, not even the "into anything" mexican finds me interesting anymore. I used to have that spark no matter what I did. No matter how I looked.

I fear in this that I've lost my mojo. I've only gained a job at which I'm not as happy as I would like to be; none of my wants are fulfilled and it seems they won't be fulfilled until I can leave this prison. The place that entraps my spirit like an army. A place that begs to be born into something more accepting and loving of gentle giants and sweet personality.

Have I become the person I once felt a joke? Have I become dead within? What have I accomplished? Will I ever get the reward of someone else? Does he truly exist and truly love me? Will he appear out of nowhere? Will he be someone I've known for years? Will he accept me just the way I am or forfeit my idea for something more meaningful?

I beg of the heavens above; give me meaning. Give me a life that I never got to have. An enjoyment I never found. Shine love and humility into my path. Bring me comfort and happiness that I've overlooked. Help me find the man of my thoughts. The one that truly deserves my loyalty and partaking. Guide my soul to the best place for me. Give me strength in knowing that my heart isn't failing me like so many decades before me. Prove that love is still worth waiting for.

If only, it were to be.

September 21, 2012

Finally got my keyboard case

It's a lovely piece of material. It's light lavendar in color and feels like faux leather like some of the nice cases you would find for an iPad out there on the market.
 
Either way, it's great to have something nice to work with instead of some cheap horribly made China based item that would not even phathom the ability.
 
The keyboard is about the size of a small netbook. A little getting used to but with time; I'll learn to master it.

Agenda crash

So it became real that sometimes; plans don't follow through as planned. Me and Stephanie from work were going to meet up together for lunch and some help from myself on picking out her wedding dress. It appears, the mother is invading her decisions or so she explained.

Let the girl have her day. It's her day to show her love to her man; to signify the beauty between two happy souls that want to spend time together. To exceed obstacles and to grow as one another in all that they travel through.

I wish her love and peace. Humility and substance in her marriage to come. Stephanie and Larry will make a lovely couple. Two Leo's as one throne together. You can't ask for anything more lovely or loyal. Both are young and full of life. Cute smiles and giggles with a darling dash of diva in between.

May God bless your love with his own hands. You've gain my blessings as a friend who may have only known you for a short bit but still finds your friendship of high regard and loyal comfort. Thank you dear.

<3

September 20, 2012

If I did it like California

I'd be minor about my plastic surgery. If I ever went that far.

Take a look at the before and after shots...


September 19, 2012

Pages

Air tight on the wind
Silent touch all over again
I wish we could stop time

Diamonds in my heart
Rushing into cars
We could never happen

I'll keep turning down the lights
To save a little more time
Young in my old shoes

Love never crossed the line
I've been taking lies
Just to cover the truth


Skies torn from the door
I'll be nothing more
You can't keep the keys

I'll be on my knees
Begging God to let me breathe
You're not what I see

Still I let it be
That one day I will get to keep
Write it on our sheets
Ghosts from my past
Will it never pass
Those moments that you stole from me
Someone is missing

Dull enough to shine
Drench in cold eyes
Where does the sun come up

I've been on a slow drive
Whispering behind the tides
I've given all that I could

Smiles erased like crystal fights
I'm not there in the night
Wishing for peridot green

Something so beautiful and light
Nothing can save tiny lines
Hold us up like billboard pins

Still I let it be
That one day I will get to keep
Write it on our sheets
Ghosts from my past
Will it never pass
Those moments that you stole from me
Someone is missing

Surely, it can't be true



September 13, 2012

Upstate, up tight...

Today I woke up and was greeted with a message from a dating app I have. The guy wanted to see me before I went off to work; so I nervously obliged.

When he arrived; I had just got out of the shower (believe it or not; was the shortest shower I've ever taken - 5 minutes tops?) and proceeded to put on a bit of cover up so I could at least look alive when I stepped outside my door.

Prior to his arrival; we exchanged text messages...he was well aware of my standing and that I had to be at work within about an hour and a half...when I walked outside to see him, he went off on me after opening his door saying that I took too long and that he had to work (never told me he had work) and he was adoment the entire time about meeting with me...rushing me...and talking to me every 5 minutes...

Look, if you're going to meet this beautiful and lovely creature of the night during the daytime; you better watch your step before you piss me off or else; you won't ever speak nor see me again (unless you walk into Walmart sadly)

Men like you don't deserve anyone but the dirt of the sea...you want to treat me like I'm an object or I'm some sort of toy...FUCK OFF...I'm better and sexier than that...and I know damn well that YOU don't deserve me...Take care up tight northern boy...you just killed my chances of ever dating someone from up north ever again...

Men; can't live with em'...can't live without em'....story of my fucking life

September 12, 2012

Rewrite history (lyrics to a song I'm writing)


One lyric at a time...


Romeo and JulianMaking love under the moonBirthing into something newUntil the daylight comesI fall in loveI fall in loveWith you

September 9, 2012

On Love

Looking into the window as a sparrow on the wind
Disguised in my words is love I've never spent
Constantly dividing my dreams and fortunes
Begging to be missing so that someone would want me
I write on paper the mystics of literature in your name
All while pressured to think of nothing but the same
Emotions tied like shoe laces on a plane
Someday I pray that you will remember my pain
So long to the little kid in chains
Arising the sun of night, belittled for change
I wish and dream upon the thoughts of your hands
Thriving to be more than just another man
For somewhere out there this heart will complete
For someone out there will find relief
When candles burn in my honor
I'll know that I wasn't too deep
To fall in love; with someone that will never be

September 7, 2012

I love me some Etta James

Watch "Etta James - Blues To The Bone - The Sky Is Crying" on YouTube

She had a unique way of singing and it really showed...her history is amazing...she was a complete blessing to our ears...

May her beautiful soul R.I.P

September 6, 2012

A little chewing gum

Makes music like this...




If I'm ever in Norway...


If I'm ever in Norway; I'll be attending many of Annie's concerts. I absolutely love this gal. She's super fabu!

<3

Norwegian pop forever baby ;)

September 2, 2012

Hater

These streets are like dollhouse prisons
These men are like urban pretenders
Paint the skies in all your lies
Twist my living so I could die

Controller put down your dial
Innocent looks but too dumb to hide
Now how is it that you end on my TV?
5 o'clock news line with all your parts

Now I'm not saying anyone is better
But I got the fits to make up the weather
In my eyes there is no one other
Blood stained lips with no life to pry
Sexist drive with culprit thighs
But what I'm really saying is
You'll never be my type

American imposter with fake color glow
Pink tone lips with a murderous vogue
See I'm not like the 16 million bits of decree
I'll hold you with your tongue wishing for more to drink


Now I'm not saying anyone is better
But I got the fits to make up the weather
In my eyes there is no one other
Blood stained lips with no life to pry
Sexist drive with culprit thigh
But what I'm really saying is
You'll never be my type

(End quote: FUCK OFF)

Crystal

Standing around looking for someday
Got new kicks and ready to get paid
Bitchy comment makes a girl come back
Grab the bottle and a baseball bat
It's gonna be another year over

I need change, I need change
Come over here, come over here
I want this bad, I want this bad
Come get next to me, come get next to me

Lines looking a bit long
Shirt all loose like Perry in 92'
Boys look so sadistic with their robo locks
Punchin' on some lover; now we have to call the cops

I need change, I need change
Come over here, come over here
I want this bad, I want this bad
Come get next to me, come get next to me

Tired of these jokes walking beside the fence
Like convicts looking for evidence
Maybe if I taste something different; I won't fall into their trips
Young with blood still rushing; I'm trusting nothing I'm touching

I need change, I need change
Come over here, come over here
I want this bad, I want this bad
Come get next to me, come get next to me

(Spoken: I need change, get next me to me...I need another day...so let it be)