Can't stop

It's one of those wake up, eat a donut because you still can without gaining a pound, and wear something furry and pimp savvy kind of days.

I hit the play button on my phone to hear one of JES' singles she did in collaboration not long ago. I love her music. It's the perfect amount of vocals and club centric tune. I really like the song. For some reason it reminds of an early morning Sweden. I guess Robyn wore herself on me after all.

Yesterday at work I overheard a beautiful woman speaking to her kids; her accent was lovely I must say. I was endeared to finally hear something from afar right there before my eyes. I know; I'm weird but I'm weak for an accent on anyone. If you have one; I instantly can't help but fall into your demise. Or so it has been since I was a child. Perhaps it's because of heritage or just the fact that as a Leo; I'm very emotional and it makes me react differently than what most people would.

I've tailored to the Italians, French, Swedish, and now...possibly the Dutch...her accent reminded me of a familiar voice I remember from almost a year was very Dutch but very lovely on her...she had very Russian hair however so it's possible she was Polish? I'm not that great at pinpointing my accents but regardless, I love them. I get to talk to a sweet British lady from Cambridge in crafts from time to time and then a lady from Mexico City in Apparel; part of my department now since we've went under new code.

I've learned that the more I forget about the past; the more I learn that perhaps I shouldn't forget everything about it. Perhaps there is a reason I keep hearing that voice in my head. Perhaps it's telling me something and I just haven't figured it out yet. Who knows really?

All I know is it's much easier now to hear than it was before. Before it was linked to heartbreak and a lot of self caused drama. Now, it's nowhere near that. It's finally just voices to ponder upon. I've been asked about him a few times recently; I'm not sure why it keeps popping up but I'm not offended either. Still I wonder if fate is being forward about it and I should take action in some way from it. I've been asked if I miss him a lot. Well, I'll be honest here and NO I'm not needy or clinging on or anything like that; a person is entitled to feel however they see fit. I do miss him sometimes.

It's probably horrible to mention it due to the fact that he's no longer involved in my life; lord knows, I doubt he would ever even give me time of day again but that's my own fault and from that; I digress and only try to better myself from it. Still, it's not like I wanted to miss him because I know he never wanted to miss me but I still do at times. I wonder if he's doing well, how things in his life are. How far has he come in school; how about love doing well much has changed there since we've parted...these are all things I wonder from time to time...something I can't help but have tried to ignore for quite some time.

But, I'll never have answers nor a path where things can lead to something peaceful between us. It is what it is and I have to embrace it because let's face it; Taurus' are not so forgiving. I mean can you believe it took me almost a month or two just to convince him to forgive someone else for something that happened a few years before he met me? Ah, boys will definitely be boys though and you can't help but love them.

The important thing is; I helped in my own little way. I brought real love together. I created a happiness that I could never provide. Mostly cause I'm broke and this bitch is NOT going on a plane again. I guess in my own way; I've gone Dutch myself. I pay for my own meals, I take care of myself without any help from someone else. Excluding my parents, they want to help and well I can't deny them the joy of that since it's all they have left before I grow old and start to look uglier than sin. This is why aging sucks people.

Anyway, it's time to get back to my day. I guess when I wake up and not having sleep. I think too much. My mind ends up racing and all I think about is; "What if?" and "How come?" kind of things. Ce la vie baby. That's all I can say these days.

Ciao bella mon cherie.

PS: That last bit was in there to prove I can still get down on some foreign language ;) I still love me some sexy Europeans :D


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