In a home of...

I live in a home where homophobia goes with the flow like it's decent behavior. I can't admit that I know that all my stepbrothers and their friends dislike me greatly because of my sexual orientation but it's time I vent for a bit since I haven't in some time. I'm tired of all the bullshit.

I work a great job and pay for meals that hateful people eat. I'm tired of paying for hate when it never does anything for me to help appreciate my presence here. I'm better off in my own place.

Everyone fights; including me and my dad and to top it off; I can't really be myself here because I feel like I'm a stranger in my own home. Tommy acts annoyed with me often times and when I talk about anything; it's barely heard or acknowledged. Nick is a major asshole usually and will buy everyone else something but considering the "fairness" act that is supposed to happen; he neglects my presence because of his phobia of me.

I haven't seen my boyfriend in about three weeks now and it doesn't look like I'll get to until the end of the week; if I'm lucky. It's not fair to me to put up with all this nonsense and spend money on people that can't respect me or acknowledge me when I acknowledge and respect them on a daily basis.

I'm going to start saving back for a roommate and maybe move in somewhere. I'm tired of this. I need a new start again and this time; with people that love and respect me. I can't keep borrowing my emotions in hopes that it will get better considering the fact that doing it before meant me breaking down and feeling helpless for over a year or so. I won't do that again and I'm not willing to allow it.

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