I wish I weren't gay. Maybe it would be easier to deal with the adversity at times or maybe I would actually feel sane. Respect is genderless; it holds no grudge; and it's forgiving. Without those keys; the heart is a burial ground. I think that's the one thing I've learned over the years. It took me a while but I believe every word of it. Still, what would it be like to wake up being something your parents won't just tolerate?

What would it be like to not fall into this fake idea that because your gay you have to act like your a slut when your not? When you realize in the mirror that you don't have to portray this behavior to be liked anymore because being yourself is all you can do. It's the only way to set yourself free. To learn from your mistakes and find yourself at ease at night when you've come close to the edge. That place where you understand that regardless of everyone else; you are beautiful just the way you are.

Your a great person and you do have a heart underneath the defenses. My walls are coming down slowly again and this time it's not because of a guy. It's not because my eyes were opened. It's because I want to be free. I want to feel something more than just love or hate or happiness. I want it all.


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