I went out on a date the other night; a first in a very very long time. Things went great; conversation was vivid and exciting, chemistry was certainly there, and for once; he didn't try to sleep with me on the first date. I'm patiently waiting on a response to a text I sent him a day or two ago but I forget sometimes how complicated it can be at the beginning.
He's Bisexual and we discussed his side with women. He told me that women never speak to him; I couldn't believe it because he's far more stunning than most of the men I've seen around here. I mean; he could model or be a pornstar; he's that stunningly gorgeous. His self esteem seemed low from it and it made me wonder; am I just someone for the moment that will keep him afloat or could there ever (even potentially) be something to work with?
He is the first guy I've ever had a romantic kiss on the first date; let alone a good one that ended the night in a great way. I went inside smiling like a little kid and feeling like my old self again. A person I've been begging to see for a LONG time. I'm afraid; very afraid of moving into this because I don't want to be disappointed at the outcome. I don't want to risk damaging myself again and turning cold and bitter because I was hurt by him. Yet, if this is right for me; I'll have to learn the gift of patience and remember that all good things come to those who wait.
I don't know, we'll just have to wait and see. Considering that I gave up just nights before; perhaps this is just a mere opportunity to seek out someone who I can spend time with. Someone that will want to hold me at night, talk to me about anything, and smile with me as we admire each other's delicate personalities. Ah, these are dreams baby. Dreams that I can only believe in for a little while.
Wish me luck. If it's meant to be; I'll have a glow to my skin soon.