January 30, 2012
So here lately I've been worrying about my future love life a bit. I know; I've went on and on about this before but it's more of a matter of where I am as a person and where I should be to get that guy I want to have.
I keep thinking that maybe a compromise of my personal style is in order. Perhaps I should try to be more boyish and ditch some of the girly things about me. Would this cure my broken heart? Would that make me worth someones time again?
Searching for the right guy doesn't work and I know that but I realized that if I never make a compromise; I might not ever get anyone to find any interest in me. The other night I found that I'm a great person to be around because I'm a lot of fun and I can make people laugh; Kevin laughed his ass off and even complimented my singing when I killed it on "If I Were A Boy" but still, it was a realization of unattraction that killed me a little bit because I want to be wanted. I want to be desired but by people who will actually find a liking to the normal me and not just the girly me.
So what should one do? Will I ever mean something more than just a few laughs and great conversation? Who will I discover at the end of the day?