This year will be different

Last year was a vastly moving year. I gained; I lost; gained; lost again and so on. I was appointed to a girl from Buffalo, NY that resembles much of myself in emotional dimensions. She's a bisexual folk singer with so much talent and originated from the early 90s. Her voice is magical to my ears and she inspires me so much. She's got such a simplistic way of doing music and she reminds me of Tori Amos (whom I am now in love with) and her lyrics go beyond art with me. They are a gift to hear.

Anyway; I'm jumping off track here but recently; I made a promise to myself. I told myself if I can get over heartbreak at this point (which I feel I have) - I will push harder to get further than I had been in so many moments of my life thus far. This year is going to be about self control; motivation; taking charge; and chasing dreams. This year; I won't allow myself to fall short of my light. I deserve much better than what I've seen. I deserve to be heard.

I've been glued to this song:

This song goes to a deep and very dark place for me but it's something I relate to in so many aspects that it's not even easy to breath right. Ani's voice is so emotional and is a reflection of the pain she's went through and you can really feel it in her words. I want to strive to be like her and to give a voice that is raw but truthful and outspoken. I'm an outspoken person usually and this is the perfect inspirational start I need. I won't say that I'll be doing music anytime soon but I'll eventually (when the car is completely fixed again - after tax season comes in a month or so) will be going back to school. I'll get my GED and steadily enroll into music classes and art classes too. I want to dive deep into this dream. I don't want to just turn a record on and sing to it; I want to make the records that people will sing to. I want to be part of something I can't be forgotten from and this is my only chance. I'm gonna take it and though I've had so much self doubt; I'll burn it to the ground because from those ashes is a child looking for his dreams.


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