So I visited Matty and Brock yesterday over at Adam's place in Azalea Gardens. We were all just catching up mostly but I finally took charge and gave initiative that I wasn't going to be walked on anymore. I stood up for myself as a true Leo would.
Matty made a snarky comment about my pants yesterday; so I responded with "At least I wear pants"...she responded with "Wait; what's that supposed to me?" I never told her.
Recently had to delete a guy who I was talking to in a serious manner because he started hitting up my friends list like a buffet. Adding and trying to sleep with my friends. Oddly enough however; he was a low compatibility sign so this is another 'go figure' kind of moment and quickly called for a Twix bar. Turns out; you can't trust anyone. Not even when you try to put past a bias on someone who shares the same zodiac sign as your former half.
I've wanted space and needed space but the time has come to close that chapter in my book. I'm looking better than I ever have; feeling better than I ever have; and I'm a better person than I once was because I'm taking charge of my life. I'm showing who I am now and not who I will be later because I know that you will always change your ways to suit YOU and I'm learning that that is a beautiful trait to have. It means that you will go far in your projects. I have a feeling this year will be my year. I'm certain of it.
4. Ill Importance
While speaking to Matty; she expressed her views of a guy she was going to sleep with for money (yes; Matty is admittedbly a whore) and she enjoys her life in that fact; so more power to the girl. It's not for me. I made this clear to her when I told her that my intentions this year isn't to get laid or land an amazing relationship. My intentions this year are to take care of myself. To get what it is that I want and to gain what I can't gain with love and sex. She showed me a picture of a penis and said "I figured you might be interested in him" and I turned to her and said "Well, I have school right now and I don't have time to give my cookies away to the whole picnik. So I think I'll pass", She had a look on her face like someone died. I haven't died however; I've just learned that I don't have to lower my standards to fit yours. I don't have to be miserable because you are. I don't have to lie to myself at night to make what I've done excusable because I am completely content with my independence and it's content with me.
My outlook on men has been up and down over the years and this year is unique. While I fancy a charming beau; I don't fancy a hookup. I did that all last year when I was trying to get some much needed pain taken care of. This year; I'm going to let fate play her game and pick me out the things she would have of me. If I land a great guy; I'll keep him but if not; I'll continue to steer into my passions and make myself happier inside everyday knowing that I'm making a positive step into the future. I also realize that right now; I don't have time for love. I'm not a multitask kind of person anymore; I like to take it slow. To get to know myself; my projects; and my surroundings. I'm completely observant before I take the chance to speak up to someone and I like to understand their hidden agenda or their most prized desires; it will help me in building a great common amongst my friends in the future and pick the type of people that are most compatible with me.
I could write more but this is all I'm going to give for now...at least until later :)