Showing posts from 2012

Merry Christmas!

First off, I'd like to thank Vodka for relieving my stress of a long work day today. I feel much better and ready to really aim for some sleep time.

Tonight me and my family opened our stockings; mind you; I did not only all of the stockings myself (candy and all -- which ended up being so much candy it wouldn't all fit into the stocking) and the presents too :)

I started shopping for gifts way back in October and stopped about a week ago. I bought everyone a tablet; excluding Brenda, as I bought her a brand new laptop. She needs one that will work for her and well she lost her other computer due to low funds during the year.

I bought many other nice and nifty items as well but that was that. Brenda went out and took care of my side of the tree. Filling it up with big boxes signed to me and a few smaller trinkets as well :)

Overall, Christmas has turned out wonderfully. I'd like to say though that a man from afar...I hope is having a wonderful Christmas as well...knowing h…

If you're crazy...

Like Russian mob or Italian cocaine abuser types; you shouldn't ever bother with me. I don't date dirty people. So, ciao ciao mon cherie.

Sad sad day

When we can't even go out to the mall or go to school or see a movie without lives being on the line. Mental health checks should be required and gun control should be practiced rigorously. This has got to stop. We need a revolution.

You know...

I'm not dumb. You are able to afford a new phone. With apps.So, add Whatsapp to your messaging collection. Better than Viber.

Song of joyful loving...

The entire Black Cherry album is pure art and sends me on a journey through euphoria and imagination... I respect you Goldfrapp...

Skies Over Me

Only you

Not pardoned

Glue stick lies
Only youth

You'll get older
Learn the truth

Only love when your facing in the dark
Seems easier than the roads we part
As islands crumble and feet displace
A memory
Sinking away


Only me

Always see
Every seed

Corundum ties
Gunner vices
You'll be sorry
You learned the truth

Only love when your facing in the dark
Seems easier than the roads we part
As islands crumble and feet displace
A memory
Sinking away

Skies over me
Skies over me
Skies over me
Skies over me

Walk through stains
Change this taste

Borrowed bruises
To feel the ache


Clever Faces

Learn taste
Love Falls
Destroy shame
Where are you going? Where are you?
Eyes never open Silence like glue
Who, are, where, why? (whisper)
Clever faces How, when, constant (whisper) Clever faces

Third  strike
demons tearing insides
Emotions swept under
Teardrops like thunder
Who, are, where, why? (whisper)
Clever faces How, when, constant (whisper) Clever faces

Break Walls
Learn  taste
Love Falls
Destroy  shame


People get more and more insulting and more vain with the day. It's become a common occurrence with the snobby military wives giving me the evil eye, bitchy and catty men that think they are the hottest big dick motherfucker walking around and of course; my favorite...the over dramatic rednecks who lack education and even worse; lack substance in many brain cells did you have to borrow to understand that?
All I'm saying is... I fucking hate all of those types of people... and I'm getting fed up... one of these days I'm going to go off and when that happens... I might not turn back like I have been these past few years... 
Something about this place makes you go cold...bitter... and intensely blunt beyond repair... marines can kiss my fucking ass... you treat me like shit and yet expect respect because you kill for the government? Um... yea... I'll pass... like... forever

It's in the air

Lately, men of all beautiful natures have been flocking towards me and checking out my goodies like I'm a new toy in town... so many sexy men and a lot of them are enjoying my view ;)

I'm not sure if it's the way I look, the fact that I switched to a new fragrance; a new bath gel; and a new foundation but I think that I really have some nice sex appeal after all. Making all the hot straight boys come after my little tight ass.

Today, a guy stood and checked me out for about 5-10 minutes before I finally looked at him and asked him if he needed help with finding anything; he replied... "I'm just... looking" ;) sure you were baby...I know you wanted to bang the fuck out of this :P

Regardless... I'm feeling sexy lately... and I'm loving it... girly or not; I got something special in me... and some of those beautiful faces are missing out these days... my favorite is when we both have our check out moment and then we smile politely as if it didn't hap…

First drink in a while...

Today I went and redid my ID... something that was awaiting my attention for quite some time... I was anxiously dabbling upon what drink I wanted as I left...

I stopped by the ABC store today and bought a bottle of ThreeOlives "Loopy" and two mini shots of Burnette's and a liquor called Kinky. So far, I'm loving this bottle... the flavor is perfectly fit to the taste of Fruit Loops; a cereal I love... and really compliments wells with Sprite.

I'm excited...a lot of choices and I'm about to start trying quite a bit of them... I'm not turning myself into an alcoholic but I deserve a few stiff ones... after all, society is rather sad looking lately... I need a little spirit in my bones... this will surely do

Those pretty boys

Never want of me but divide my spirit
try to break me down so I can't feel it
the love for me which waits above the ground
The healing that comes from having him around
Someday I'll blossom like stars
someday I'll be enough for your heart

Dear cold

I'd like to personally tell you that I despise you. You always come around when I'm starting to enjoy the seasons and then you hangout with me way too much and scare off all the people that I like to be around.

You make me stay up at night and it agitates me because I want so badly to sleep. The feeling of hammers hitting my face is a close resemblence of what you tend to provide. It makes me whisper in my head of times before when smiles were extremely common and the air was crisp without making me cough every 5 seconds.

Your presence is lame. I hate you cold. I hate you. I hate all of your nasty little tricks. I hate all of your stupid ideas. I hate that you don't want to leave when I tell you to.

FUCK you.

That's all I have to say for now. Seeing as your coughing won't let me speak much. Asshole.

Mind racing & overthought

So I'm stuck awake tonight. Meanwhile I have to work at 2pm today and I fear that my mind won't shut down nor will my cough.

I feel a tingling sensation in my throat; much like my former colds that doesn't seem to surprise me considering I'm always with cough with almost every sickness I get. No matter what it is.

During my mind's race to compete against time and the coughing; I started to think of things that I put off for some time now. A great example is how I've hated the hurt that came to me earlier this year when I actually did something for me instead of for the other guy.

I miss the cuddling and kissing sometimes. I miss being loved. I miss being wanted.

We used to sleep beside each other; arms fold and eyes shut. We used to be something to each other when no one else wanted us. I begged of your mercy when you left me. Ever since I've had this new found "career" so to speak; I can't help shake the feeling that part of me has become ugl…

Finally got my keyboard case

It's a lovely piece of material. It's light lavendar in color and feels like faux leather like some of the nice cases you would find for an iPad out there on the market. Either way, it's great to have something nice to work with instead of some cheap horribly made China based item that would not even phathom the ability. The keyboard is about the size of a small netbook. A little getting used to but with time; I'll learn to master it.

Agenda crash

So it became real that sometimes; plans don't follow through as planned. Me and Stephanie from work were going to meet up together for lunch and some help from myself on picking out her wedding dress. It appears, the mother is invading her decisions or so she explained.

Let the girl have her day. It's her day to show her love to her man; to signify the beauty between two happy souls that want to spend time together. To exceed obstacles and to grow as one another in all that they travel through.

I wish her love and peace. Humility and substance in her marriage to come. Stephanie and Larry will make a lovely couple. Two Leo's as one throne together. You can't ask for anything more lovely or loyal. Both are young and full of life. Cute smiles and giggles with a darling dash of diva in between.

May God bless your love with his own hands. You've gain my blessings as a friend who may have only known you for a short bit but still finds your friendship of high regard an…

If I did it like California

I'd be minor about my plastic surgery. If I ever went that far. Take a look at the before and after shots...


Air tight on the wind
Silent touch all over again
I wish we could stop time

Diamonds in my heart
Rushing into cars
We could never happen

I'll keep turning down the lights
To save a little more time
Young in my old shoes

Love never crossed the line
I've been taking lies
Just to cover the truth

Skies torn from the door
I'll be nothing more
You can't keep the keys

I'll be on my knees
Begging God to let me breathe
You're not what I see

Still I let it be
That one day I will get to keep
Write it on our sheets
Ghosts from my past
Will it never pass
Those moments that you stole from me
Someone is missing

Dull enough to shine
Drench in cold eyes
Where does the sun come up

I've been on a slow drive
Whispering behind the tides
I've given all that I could

Smiles erased like crystal fights
I'm not there in the night
Wishing for peridot green

Something so beautiful and light
Nothing can save tiny lines
Hold us up like billboard pins

Still I let it be
That one day I will get to keep
Write it on our she…

Upstate, up tight...

Today I woke up and was greeted with a message from a dating app I have. The guy wanted to see me before I went off to work; so I nervously obliged.

When he arrived; I had just got out of the shower (believe it or not; was the shortest shower I've ever taken - 5 minutes tops?) and proceeded to put on a bit of cover up so I could at least look alive when I stepped outside my door.

Prior to his arrival; we exchanged text messages...he was well aware of my standing and that I had to be at work within about an hour and a half...when I walked outside to see him, he went off on me after opening his door saying that I took too long and that he had to work (never told me he had work) and he was adoment the entire time about meeting with me...rushing me...and talking to me every 5 minutes...

Look, if you're going to meet this beautiful and lovely creature of the night during the daytime; you better watch your step before you piss me off or else; you won't ever speak nor see me agai…

Rewrite history (lyrics to a song I'm writing)

One lyric at a time...

Romeo and JulianMaking love under the moonBirthing into something newUntil the daylight comesI fall in loveI fall in loveWith you

On Love

Looking into the window as a sparrow on the wind
Disguised in my words is love I've never spent
Constantly dividing my dreams and fortunes
Begging to be missing so that someone would want me
I write on paper the mystics of literature in your name
All while pressured to think of nothing but the same
Emotions tied like shoe laces on a plane
Someday I pray that you will remember my pain
So long to the little kid in chains
Arising the sun of night, belittled for change
I wish and dream upon the thoughts of your hands
Thriving to be more than just another man
For somewhere out there this heart will complete
For someone out there will find relief
When candles burn in my honor
I'll know that I wasn't too deep
To fall in love; with someone that will never be

I love me some Etta James

Watch "Etta James - Blues To The Bone - The Sky Is Crying" on YouTubeShe had a unique way of singing and it really showed...her history is amazing...she was a complete blessing to our ears...May her beautiful soul R.I.P

A little chewing gum

Makes music like this...

If I'm ever in Norway...

If I'm ever in Norway; I'll be attending many of Annie's concerts. I absolutely love this gal. She's super fabu!


Norwegian pop forever baby ;)


These streets are like dollhouse prisons
These men are like urban pretenders
Paint the skies in all your lies
Twist my living so I could die

Controller put down your dial
Innocent looks but too dumb to hide
Now how is it that you end on my TV?
5 o'clock news line with all your parts

Now I'm not saying anyone is better
But I got the fits to make up the weather
In my eyes there is no one other
Blood stained lips with no life to pry
Sexist drive with culprit thighs
But what I'm really saying is
You'll never be my type

American imposter with fake color glow
Pink tone lips with a murderous vogue
See I'm not like the 16 million bits of decree
I'll hold you with your tongue wishing for more to drink

Now I'm not saying anyone is better
But I got the fits to make up the weather
In my eyes there is no one other
Blood stained lips with no life to pry
Sexist drive with culprit thigh
But what I'm really saying is
You'll never be my type

(End quote: FUCK OFF)


Standing around looking for someday
Got new kicks and ready to get paid
Bitchy comment makes a girl come back
Grab the bottle and a baseball bat
It's gonna be another year over

I need change, I need change
Come over here, come over here
I want this bad, I want this bad
Come get next to me, come get next to me

Lines looking a bit long
Shirt all loose like Perry in 92'
Boys look so sadistic with their robo locks
Punchin' on some lover; now we have to call the cops

I need change, I need change
Come over here, come over here
I want this bad, I want this bad
Come get next to me, come get next to me

Tired of these jokes walking beside the fence
Like convicts looking for evidence
Maybe if I taste something different; I won't fall into their trips
Young with blood still rushing; I'm trusting nothing I'm touching

I need change, I need change
Come over here, come over here
I want this bad, I want this bad
Come get next to me, come get next to me

(Spoken: I need change, g…

Okay look...

If we but don't act like you have no idea how sex don't just ram it in and need to lube up and progressively get into things...unlike the loose folks that you may have banged prior to our hookup; I'm snug and I take care of my please; do me the favor...learn how to fuck properly

British people love me

So today, my department manager came off a bit prude...a british customer (she's one of my regulars) came by to ask about a particular size in a quilt and well, we were out of part of our policy; we have to call other stores that are nearby if possible to help the customer find the product in our stores elsewhere.

My department manager told me later while I was on hold that he could of done it on the telezon (a device we use) and I had no knowledge of this until that point mind you. He walked to the customer and made a comment while he was scanning the label and said "Had I known about this; it could of been done faster"....the customer (from which I have helped in the past with many of the things she has looked for in my department) later came back by when my department manager had left the area and asked me to get my supervisor; she was upset by his comment towards me and was offended by it saying to me "You shouldn't get treated this way at the work…

A bag of chips, a movie, and life

It's always nice to see Shirley MacLaine's face light up the screen. With her steadfast attitude and her witty remarks. She keeps it simple and I admire that a lot.

Meanwhile; she's thinking too much about how I shouldn't eat chips before bedtime....look; she really is....

Shirley MacLaine shows no mercy for bullshit
But I can't resist eating my favorite chips. They are absolutely delicious and so soft to the touch when you eat them. The right amount of salt and just the right amount of texture for your tastebuds!
Munchos are truly snack savvy; keep on crunchin'
Still, I enjoy nice evenings like today where after a lovely laughter filled conversation with one of the most beautiful guys in the world; I get to enjoy a bit of girly chick flick time right before bedtime. I've always loved Shirley MacLaine because of her outspoken side; her spunk; and her comedic side. She's a clever woman I must say too given that she's managed to be herself in most of he…

Goofing around... ;)

I just spoke into my Android phone and this crazy app AutoRap transformed my speech into a sick beat:

Toys for my boys

Today; I skipped lunch to start off on my shopping spree of goodies for my two favorite little boys. Kyzer and Malick mean the world to me and for being unable to provide with a birthday gift; I'm planning on meshing together a big box of wrapped up gifts and candies to ship to my boys as an early Christmas gift :)A lot of money will go into this but I'm sure of it being worth it and it is going to be fun too...spoiling them with lots of fun things for them to adore...So far I have a DVD.... toy remote (both with Elmo) for Malick and two Batman toys for Kyzer. Both of them will get a tub of chalk to play with outside too...turns out...Kyzers favorite color is blue and so far...he chooses green for Malick...after all; he is the oldest of the two ;)Oh how I love them...especially that Malick calls Elmo; Melmo... <3

Why I like Norwegian Singers

Just listen... <3

Lana Del Rey

So I started listening to her today. I like her style.

She's got an old fashioned sound; a flavorful vocal style that seems to entice upon parts of Adele and pieces of a later Tammy Wynette. It's beautiful to me; though the gloom of "Video Games" is a bit overplayed but I do enjoy the track for it's simplistic approach.

Lana Del Rey will be a major influence upon other artists I believe; another Adele so to speak for us to savor.

What's this showing up?

Messages from the great ones of hot pockets. A very nom nom ocassion.I love you oh yummy pocket of cheeses :)

Single because

My heart has a different flow
My eyes don't always glow
My lips have been dismissed
My thoughts have been dissed
My femininity isn't your wish
So you stepped out; forget this bitch
But you don't know what you missed
Cause a girly boy can't live like this
Someday, when I move on to better ground
This heart of mine will instill a man found
So play your games all you please
But with love; you won't steal my key
Cause love isn't so cheap
I'm still human as you can see
And haters can't fuck with me

Heads up (UPDATED)

My commenting system works like this; you have to login into an OpenID (such as Yahoo! or Google) account to post a comment; otherwise you will not be able to leave a comment.

An easier and more effective solution is to log into your Google Account, Twitter, or other network and join my blog via the blue button that is underneath "Readers" over to the right of my blog posts here.

Then you can comment without an issue :)

And yes, you will join because you love me so much that you must join my blog or else you will feel empty in life because I am the only reason you want to be alive. Yes, I am your dream. Come live me baby.

UPDATE: A new rating has been added. To suit those who may have something slightly more negative to say about a post; I've given you the "REALLY?" rating. For now, you only get one negative rating; though in the coming weeks, days, months, or whenever I feel like it might find other ones popping up as well :)

Rating system

So I incorporated my own rating system. For all of my posts from this point on; you can have a little bit of input without having to say something clever and witty in response to my posts.

Let's see, my favorite one so far is "FABU" and "MARRY ME" because let's be know you want me...I want me...everyone wants's true; Europe can even agree...


So rate all you'd's completely anonymous...I look forward to bringing in more additions over the coming weeks <3

To my dearest love; I wish you well today as you go back into recovery mode...I know in my heart; you will overcome this and that God is on your side baby...keep telling those cute corny jokes and keep on are loved mon cherie bel ami!

R.I.P Dear Candle clan

Or at least to three of you. Yes; I burn candles rather quick but who can deny the scent of Sweet Pea in the morning. I find it inviting and seductive when a man has candles lit for me.He blind folds me, carries me to the bed, and kisses me all over...ever so gently and then we look in each others eyes to find...That we are both laughing our ass off because bitch; you just caught the living room on fire. Good for you!See kids...romance've been warned ;) Still...who wants to make out? :D

Can you get freckles there?

Apparently the Indian in me blossomed more and I hadn't noticed it until today. Not to get extreme but you willbe seeing my ass today.I pondered upon a small freckle. One I never noticed on my ass until this morning when I was changing clothes. Ah...I'm good looks are already failing aren't they? :(Stupid freckle...

Power seeker

Be doomed. I'm onto you.

Fucking your bubble up

I started dating again. Yea, the fence had to be torn down today. It was getting rusty anyway.
The new guy is quite a great guy. I mean, he has great hair. Great style. A real sweetheart and yet he holds that one quality that I've been great with.
Someone who really gives a shit less what someone else thinks. 
See, you are human after all and that in itself should be enough to say that you are worth something. You didn't get a brain put in your head without reason.
So, some great things about him are:
-Always on time -Knows exactly what to say -Loves candles like I do (yay candles) -Eats the foods that I like -Dances horribly but has fun at it -Smiles whenever I want him to -Looks great in black -Absolutely pleasing -Loves me for me -Non-judgmental -Compatible -Passionate -Risky but reasonable -Loves to sing (like me) -Takes great pictures -Doesn't mind makeup or girly clothes -Wants to be with me regardless of others -Unconditionally states the obvious -Works hard to mak…

For a limited time

My blog will be in it's classic mode. As many readers had witnessed; I've jumped between the new Google "Dynamic" layout and the classic Blogger layouts. Today, I've made the decision to stick with the old layout until it is deemed invalid.

A major part of this reason is compatibility. I want to have support for instant messaging while reading my blog. In the coming month or so; you might see this feature jump in and out. This isn't because I'm indecisive; it's because I want to find the best solution for this need and sometimes that means a little experimentation on my behalf. We'll see how it turns out after the big shutdown of Meebo on July 11th.

Regardless, my blog is still the same blog it's always been. A place where I can vent, tell all, and instill my writing and creative flow. So here we go today; my classic blog is back. You might notice some other new additions to the blog as well. They were long awaited additions. One of which is a…


And every single penny was worth it! :)
Yes, I got to spend time speaking to a lovely soothing voice from a far. I tallied up the minutes we spoke and it was 103. A nice amount if you ask me. Technically however we spoke longer cause we had a prior conversation on Viber. 
While it is a nice app; I do prefer times where I can spend some money on his lovely voice.
After all; he is worth it <3 oh, beautiful lover friend ;)

Stairway of Ghosts (lyrics)

Taste of poison on your lips
Too heartless to consider this
It's late and I'm already over it
Don't try to renew my wish

Underneath this skin is a different kid
Swallowed up by life; secrets come to light
Sick of hearing no; ready to go
Here I'll be; alone
For you...oh sunlight

Years beyond what seems to be good
Can't fathom the truth and never understood
So we beat up ourselves for some type of resentment
The door is still open but you won't go in

Underneath this skin is a different kid
Swallowed up by life; secrets come to light
Sick of hearing no; ready to go
Here I'll be; alone
For you

Taste of poison on your lips
The moments dead so get rid of it
Eyes wide shut and I'm still taking a trip
The mighty loss of co-dependence

And I'll still change my ways

Underneath this skin is a different kid
Swallowed up by life; secrets come to light
Sick of hearing no; ready to go
Here I'll be; alone
For you

Here I'll be; alone
For you

Free love

I watched a documentary today on sex in the 70s and how it revolutionized our knowledge of sex and diseases today. The whole time I couldn't feel but a passion to wonder what it would have been like to have seen those days; to have witnessed history in the making. Back in the 70s; sex was easy to find; it was on every street corner; in every alley way; and constantly happening.

I've thought of what today is like and it's not that different; the only real difference is safer sex is more prominent and sex has become a more private activity than it was in those days. I've heard from friends that Germany resembles a lot of the 70s style sexual energy. You can walk through an alley in Berlin (so I've heard) and meet a guy that will show you a good time. There are bath houses built specifically to tailor to men who are looking to get some action. You can find them all over but mostly in big cities like California; New York; London; and so on.

Maybe it's my inner vixe…

Grunge it

Some days I just want to revert to 16 again.
Took a picture with my new 100% human hair wig. Looks lovely so far and I can style it in a lot of ways :)

10 Beauty Mistakes You're Probably Making

10 Beauty Mistakes You're Probably Making

The above link is for anyone like me who really tries to pay attention to my aging. I want to be youthful when I'm 35. Rather than looking like I'm 45.

Take a look at the link included on this here post and see that sexy burst out in you :)


Love this song :)

German love

So maybe not a boyfriend or anything like that; clearly not what I picture BUT my friend Michael is rather dashing; even in his 30s :)

I particularly love his expression in this here photo:

Mister; you look rather coldplayish today. I really like it. Such a wonderful friend to have. I still can't see why you've been single for so long!

Co-workers do care

Today during my extreme load of freight and busy busy customer service; I was told to go on break. As I walked into the conference room and saw the Red Velvet cake that Ms. Frances made me; as well as a bag that read; "puppy love"...I couldn't help but smile...It's nice when you're noticed for a few minutes; even if it's at a place that you sometimes can't stand

We talked for a bit and ate some cake (really delicious by the way) and then I opened the bag to see the candle set I wanted from our candle section :) (Sweet Pea scent by the way...a favorite of mine)

Overall the day came to a shitty end through a rude bit of customers but remembering my lunch hour and such; I'm able to overcome it.

Thank you Ms. Frances; you make coming to work worth while!

Signs of a business peep

If you have more than 5 alarms set on your phone; you might be a business peep. Pretty much it means that you are already business savvy and you have what it takes to run your own business if you needed to.

I counted and I have a total (on average) of 8 alarms set on my phone per day of work. I do a lot of things at work and a lot of responsibility is laid on me to get things completed. While it's not always finished when I leave (this is common for all employee's) - I still do my best to try and make an effort.

The alarms I've set lately are more so reminders; things like 'Clock into MyGuide' or 'Take meds' tend to be the subject of many of these interruptions within my day. I'm horrible with memory. Though, ask any's a problem among many of our kind...perhaps a movie about it could suffice the anguish I have to know a name of someone I see somewhat or to remember when an important date is in a new friends life.

Ah, the life of a worker...…

Gray (lyrics)

The clock ticks on but the sun ain't strong
This air is dry but your hands are like seas
Black hair and a pocket of keys

Tell me how you do it
Spin through lights like the wind
Tell me where you want to go
Dancing through your own show
I'd like to be there...someday

Words on paper stutter like bullets
Used to blame the world
Twice is the danger of it
Believe that your the girl

Tell me how you do it
Spin through lights like the wind
Tell me where you want to go
Dancing through your own show
I'd like to be there...someday

We travel these airwaves like transit pace
Young eyes that can't carry the weight
Growing old like the pebbles beneath the water
We'll figure it out before we go home

Still I'd like to learn from someone...again

Tell me how you do it
Spin through lights like the wind
Tell me where you want to go
Dancing through your own show
I'd like to be there...someday

I'd like to say that nothing is changed
It's change that makes you glad to seiz…


So it's 3:17pm right now and I'm working a 4 hour shift today. This weekend has to be one of the worst weekends next to holiday weekends considering that it was not only our payday weekend; military payday, but also many marines coming home from Iraq this week.

What does this mean for retail? It means that my feet will be hurting more; I'll be even more exhausted; and I'll want to go home sooner. Then again, a job is a job and I'm lucky to even have one; so I can't complain too much. Still, it's a bit much sometimes when you try to do it all as one person; clearly knowing it takes more than one person to run a department.

Well, our air went out yesterday. It costed us $81.00 even for 4 box fans just to keep us somewhat breathable. The good news is; it's not as bad as it was in the trailer we lived in before. We're hardly sweating in comparison to those days and the fans are a big help; though all they've done much of is blow hot air back at you;…

500GB of birthday coming up!

I decided that I would get me a special birthday gift; after all, I've got the blisters on my toes to prove I've earned my gift.

For $63.13 (tax included in this total), I snagged my very own personal hard drive to store all of my files on. So, regardless of what computer I have; or get for that matter; I will always have a wealthy abundance of space to get everything I want.

So far, I think I'm going to use it towards downloading movies when I can. I'll then have my own movie collection in a nice blue digital box. It's branded by Toshiba so I know that it will work well and as far as the space; it will take me quite some time to fill up 500GB; let alone a 16GB phone (my Galaxy Nexus has 16GB of memory) but either way; I'd say, this gift will do me well. No more copying files to the flash drive and then erasing them every time I want to transfer another one.

Simplicity; in digital living. Can't beat it.

It's my birthday everyday

Or at least it makes me feel so. A lovely red velvet cake for me to devour. The big 23. I never get lit candles really so this is special. I made my wish

Please note: This post isn't ON my birthday; my birthday is actually August 1st.

On the hunt

So since late last night, I've been going crazy typing in Google searches for cheap or even SIM card companies that offer international calling for a low rate to the Netherlands. After much searching; it all boiled down to a service I already use with Google. Google Voice.

It actually matches my old cell provider's rates which is good considering my old cell provider is what I started chatting on with international friends and so on in the day. See, back in the day, it only costed me $0.15 per minute to make a call to the Netherlands; but that never worked considering that mobile numbers from the Netherlands wasn't included. So, I resulted to having there call initiate the conversation; rather than make the call for myself.

Well, today I added a $10.00 credit to my Google Voice account. After reading through many of the policies, looking up the rate charges, and so on. I've come to an agreement with using Google Voice as my international call provider. $10.00 isn't…

Geared up

See, us divas have to get our beauty rest...luckily...there's a mask for that ;)

That age of 23

So today is my special day. The day I celebrate having been alive for so long. Yet it's the tender years passing by that I realize...I'm still young and still lovely as I was when I was a's all from faith and through seeing love in other eyes... :) Blessed is those that carry the stone. For their stone is their guidance. It's a quote I never understood but now I feel more connected to it. It clearly gives a message. One that I have used lately to guide me. So happy birthday to me and to all of the other Leo's celebrating this month :) especially to dear Val. You are aging gracefully don't be are like wine after all...they get better with time <3

Compare internationally

High food costs and so on...while your on that luxury trip to Spain or enjoying the cheeses of the Netherlands, keep in mind the difference in prices as you go along. Cheese is cheaper in Europe comparing to here in the States. Have a look at one of the sites below:
http://www.foodlion.comSo in actuality; who is cheaper? You decide.

Madisons (lyrics)

She's got bourbon on her lips
New man against her hips
Daily rush from fingertips
She wishes away

Late night talk show hosts
Color up what you didn't know
Tabloid says figures a and b
Girls laugh when they hit the screen
She wishes away

Spin the dial for a different voice
Someone on the line with a better choice
You wonder, you wonder
What happens with your life
The coastal waters still lie
Cause you're not coming home
Goodnight, blue eyes

Her tattoo is label making by the drug
Her silence didn't surprise much
Shifting the pews with a few shaking heads
She didn't intend on being a regret
Still no one could know
Girl wasn't broken after all

Spin the dial for a different voice
Someone on the line with a better choice
You wonder, you wonder
What happens with your life
The coastal waters still lie
Cause you're not coming home
Goodnight, blue eyes

Don't wait for the words to make a chase
For sorry hunger is another waste
You're not too young to let them …


I'm getting better finally; thanks to some pills and a little thing I call, faith. The only issue is when all I think about it getting these red bumps to disappear sooner and getting back to my makeup wearing; beautiful smile, self.

I appreciate honesty but when it comes to my beauty; please...lie a little more than usual when I'm sick...I prefer to have a little hope than to over analyze my thought on just how pale I've gotten or how much baggage is showing under my eyes during the day.

Still, soon; I'll get to be the pretty boy again. Or in some cases; the pretty girl, considering most people (guys and girls) think that I'm indeed; a female.

It's the voice I swear and yet, I'm thankful to have it. Lot's of innocent power that I can garnish with it :D

Well, sleepy clouds are rolling in; time to hangout with mr. sandman again...He never gets old...just boring some days; though we're quite content together ;)

Only my father

So from time to time, my dad will be on his computer, going insane over some funny YouTube videos. So far, he's the only person I know of, that will laugh carelessly at his computer to some of the most ridiculous videos you could ever see.

My dad is truly a child at heart; something I hope for when I grow older. He's always laughing randomly at things, or he'll burst into a repeat mode of crazy tunes and jokes for hours on end, until eventually...he's driving you crazy.

Either way, it's great to see his happiness from time to time; it's nice to know that maybe getting old isn't such a bad thing...that there is something good to it after all

It started

And it keeps going. I don't know what type of infection it is. I just know I caught it from Dylan. He had in fanti go on his face and some unknown viral infection on his hands. The same place that I happen to have all of these small red itchy bumps. I hate this :(

It's all in the family

Not only did I catch a stupid viral infection but I managed to get my stepbrother addicted to True Blood. A great show :)Today will prove interesting.


Goldfrapp inspired.

Random lyrics

Days are numbered
Pages get torn away
Lights go dimmer
The silence plays
Eyes looking for truth
Hearts paving the way

The worst sickness ever

Well, maybe not so much the worst but it's the most aggravating and embarrassing. Since the other day of getting a fever and sore throat (sore throat still bothering me by the way) - I've dealt with some unfortunate and rare happenings.

First off, I never get athlete's foot or cold sores really bad around my lips or the dreaded itchy red bumps on the fingers ordeal but today is among one of the many days that I'm having to face it. It's like when you get sick sometimes, all of these annoying shitty things pop up and start making your life a living hell.

Look, all I ask is that I look decent when I'm at was the first day back and I felt awful...I was too embarrassed to smile; I kept applying lip balm to my lips in hopes of miraculously making the cold sores hands itched a lot (mind you; I wash my hands like a maniac...sometimes more than 5 times a day - true story) and yet, I'm still bombarded with this extremely diabolical plot a…

Workers diet

Ah, yes. The delectable and incredibly unhealthy but still filling way to fill the tummy. Tonight my family was arguing over soda. Soda seems to be like crack in our country; you see it everywhere, everyone drinks it; it's a part of almost every diet and every meal. It's cheap in some places and expensive in others.

So while my family was arguing over soda; I was agitated and said "fuck this, I'll go buy everyone a fucking soda from the drive thru" and off to the drive thru we went. I started with $11 and came home with $6 to last me until Thursday next week (the day after my birthday) and so I developed an eating plan to not only fill my tummy but to bargain my way through until the day of my check.

My diet until that day would consist of ramen noodle cups, 40 cent sodas from the vending machine and if I wanted a dessert; a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich (courtesy of Walmart)

You see, when you're almost broke or poor; you devise your most bargain…

Can you believe it...

I'll be 23 next Thursday. I haven't made plans or anything considering I have to work the day after but still...maybe a cupcake and renting a fun new movie...or a trip to cold stone creamery :) they do have some delicious ice cream. Or a nice grab from Dunkin Donuts?I will remember one is but another day I must not go overboard and yet...I could use a nice lemon drop or a strawberry daiquiri... eh, we'll see :)

brainwaves: Let's Talk Miles Here.

brainwaves: Let's Talk Miles Here.: early this morning I heard your voice again and your laugh you said familiar things even and told me something I didn't know we...

It's beautiful and cute at the same time. How is it that such a beautiful soul is able to find ways to delight even the most complicated of complicated... <3

Thank you gorgeous. This touches my heart and brings warmth to my spirit. You're such a wonderful guy :)

PS: I was going to comment on your blog but apparently; blogger doesn't want to show the comment box anymore :(

It's 3:34am and...

I can't sleep. I was awakened earlier by the painful pains of heartburn. Perhaps it's all the water I drank or something I ate. I wish it would go away. I've tried the burping trick but found it to be unsuccessful.

So dear doctors, what is a quick...easy...and non-stressful way to get rid of heartburn or acid reflux?

I leave you with this picture in expression of my anger towards heartburn:

I call it a sign of high class

To wear a wig. I will wear them too. So no one can stop me. Besides, I look fabulous in wigs...and I'm good at pulling them off too ;)

I'm thinking of trying this look; yes it's for black people but you know what...I'll rock whatever I want to ;)

Yay porn!

So I got a porno sampler in the mail. It proves to be strange since I didn't order it but a nice addition I suppose. We will be watching with popcorn later ;D hahahahaha

AutoRap on the Google Play store

Dylan and Barry's new single!

Soon I'll be tipping my glass

To hopeful overcomings and proposals. A man and his life; a man and his lover. Things will get better for you and I want to be part of it. I want to know how things go. I want to enjoy that happiness with you in every step you take together with the wonderful and caring guy you are with. You both fit well together and I am extremely proud and happy that both of you are together; it warms my spirit to know that I helped love blossom. That I gave back something that I almost lost at one point in my life.

Two beautiful people and beautiful souls. I couldn't ask for anything more :)

Do you wanna?

Look tired or look like a stoner. I can guarantee it isn't fair either way.Chya ya babyyyyy <3

Old fashioned

There are many reasons as to why I wouldn't do YouTube. First, the ads. I hate ads and I wouldn't want to subject myself to dealing with it (even in my own videos) and secondly, I'm not a video type of person. Not to say I'd never make a video; I just don't have the niche for it.

I prefer words. Listening to audio. These two are what I grew up on and they were the primary source of communicating. Still, after a recent documentary on the lovely life of Chris Crocker; it makes me wonder what it would be like to try the whole being crazy with a video camera and letting my heart out. I doubt however, that my talents would emerge with that motive. So I continue in my paper mode. From which I like.

Well that went downhill

So tonight I decided to do something I rarely do...hookupThe guy is a Taurus so I know the sex is supposed to be great between us but I'm not satisfied...Look, let me get blunt here...if your going to fuck me....make me cum while you do it...He's apparently stingy...not attractive...last time I'm hooking up with you dudeAnd....that's my little bit NSFW rant...;) Time to enjoy this crazy storm tonight

Where dreams come true

At least for the hungry

Who's that girl

***WARNING*** This website will not be held liable for any smiles that may be cracked while viewing this photograph ***WARNING***
Or boy? Yes. It's your favorite wet dream. The beautiful; Branni :)

I love British movies

British slang always gets me. I fall in love with it. It's very old fashioned and very straightforward without such a vile and vulgar sound to it. It's like the English were genius at language back in the day.

Ah, a lovely chick flick kind of movie... Agnus, Thongs, and Perfect Snogging


New photo blog

It's no surprise that I fancy having many hobbies. Like an Aries; I get very bored after some time and then it's a means of having to find something productive or fun that will grab my attention. Though I can't do something extreme; I can take my own photos in some small way. An interpretative view into my world.

Thanks to my phone and some lovely apps; I'm able to provide some rather nice photography. Here's the link to my new photo blog. Follow or not; either way, it's where most of my newer stuff will be posted...while the pictures that don't make it will land here ;)

See; everybody wins!


Recently I tried out an application which is installable on Windows and it has shown quite useful. I can take my phone to the desktop without having to buy special cables and a monitor just to do so. It's really quite easy too. All you do is install this program on your computer; open it and sync it with your phone. To sync however; you have to install the app from the Play store. It's quick and easy however and you won't have to do anything special to get the cloud connection to work. I've got almost all of my apps from my phone on here; including this one. The Blogger app. Among one of my many favorites considering I can blog on the go with it :)You can get the program here:

I have a right

To want to leave this place. To make something different happen. To be able to sleep in again.

Whether it's parents or the brother from another; I am constantly losing sleep due to people being excessively loud; look, it's called an inside voice for a reason. People need rest when they've worked 2-11 for almost a full week straight prior to their three days off. Just saying.

So as part of my goals; I'm going to plan my escape (so to speak) immediately after I get my car. I may end up living in a hotel...I really don't know but I know this much...anywhere would be better than here at the moment...I'm only crabby because it's not often I get days off like this and it's almost as if my brother and his friend are purposely staying here and being as loud as they can be to piss me off. It's definitely something they would do.

Eh, either way...I'm sick of this half sleep nonsense...can't a boy get some rest these days? :/

The only Courtney Love album...

That was ever really any good...

Live Through This (1994)

A beautiful song unheard

After skimming through a list of downloaded songs I got from sites like and other places that aspiring musicians go; I found this song. A song which isn't released to anyone publicly or anything but has a very euphoric electronic sound; new age melodies; and a beautiful singer to accompany it. I only wish that it had been me that made this song. Have a listen via the player above! :)

In honor of...

I'll be 23 on August 1st. I've searched a bit for a song that I thought was cute and well; though Madonna's new album isn't all good; I found one song that is actually pretty good :)

It's called "B-Day Song" and I like it so far. It fits for the occassion that comes up; though replace "girl" with "boy" and we'll be on the right page for me.

"It's my birthday everyday!" is my favorite line...the way it's said is just hilarious <3

Here's a listen:

I love it when...

I'm doing my returns at the CSM department and a guy holding his girlfriends hand walks by and is checking me out. Stop hiding cutie ;) I don't bite...too hard <3

My favorite place

An all you can eat pizza, pasta, and salad for only $5.49 :)

After 3 months...I finally got it!

Yes, it's that wonderful little 10% discount card from Walmart. Let's see, benefits of this card are pretty much average. I get 10% off general merchandise and fresh produce and select merchandise on but I don't think I get 10% off on Deli meals though; which sucks but oh well. One must digress. I do love the Deli meals though. Good stuff over there.

Though it's only 10%, it's a discount. For that, I thank you dear employer. Your card will get used A LOT.

My favorite song from the Torches album

Mesmerized by their beats and their odd lyrics; Foster The People invite that 90s vibe back into the realm of our modern dancers. It's different. I love it.

Future goals

This is meant for me personally; so don't be confused if you read this and think "What the heck is this stuff?". Rest assured, I didn't feel like opening up my note taking app; so this is more sufficient (and permanent really) for me.

1. Save back $800 for my trip to see my nephews and my sister in Randleman (+$150 is added to $650 for any extra costs or mishaps)
2. Save back a minimum of $2000 for a car; maximum of $4000
3. Find a second job. (combine if possible)
4. Attempt to write a book (whether it be short or otherwise)
5. Apply for food stamps (if at all able)
6. Find a boyfriend (at least a temp)
7. Learn to play a musical instrument

Let it rain...

Photos shot with the i9250 Galaxy Nexus using Pudding Camera & Pixlr-O-Matic

Take professional photographs with Galaxy Nexus

("Heaven Sent" using Pixlr-O-Matic)

("Guiding Light" using Pixlr-O-Matic)

(Original Photo using an i9250 Galaxy Nexus)

(Original Photo using an i9250 Galaxy Nexus)
NOTE: Click on each image to view them in their full resolution @ 2048px
Some people have argued that Apple's iPhone camera is better than most Android phones. I beg to differ. See it's all about the software that you use to take the photographs. You can always edit them to your liking if need be. I took all four of these with my Galaxy Nexus. 
Only two of them are edited (minor editing) and the other two show off the beauty of the phone's quality itself. Compare and tell me what you think in the comments below. Do you think Android phone's are finally coming into grounds with the iSight camera included in many of Apple's iPhone devices?

We may have differences but...

Together, we work and get things done. Me and Michelle have had some misunderstandings lately and though it's been a bit tragic in some of the conversations we've had. I've learned a lot about business and about how to keep your ethics in tact. Though her and I don't always agree on how the job should be done; she still believes in me. When I came in for my interview and told her about my writing and how much it's meant to me; she knew then that she wanted to help me in my job so that it would expand to my writing.

She told me the other day after a conversation that I should write down every thought I have in a notebook. No matter how small or big or how vague or bold it may seem. Writing down things are key to letting go of any part of a situation you choose to and I'm learning that by me writing things down before I say them; I can vent and get my positive outlook back without letting the darker side of me take control. I guess in a sense you could say that I…

Coffee or no Coffee?

I really want one but I doubt it's really worth the money it would take to get me some coffee bean love. I've been contemplating on buying a Keurig machine due to the high demand we have and how easy to use they seem to be. I really love the Dunkin Donuts coffee flavors and I know this machine would be put to great use while I'm preparing in the week to go to work in the morning/afternoon and it could really be a benefit but the cost of having this luxury is a price I cannot bare. $15.00 or more just for 16 cups of coffee; I'm not sure if that is worth it in the end. 
Considering the fact that I can get more cups of coffee with a traditional machine is quite an important factor in this decision. Eh, we'll see. Meanwhile, Garden boy has been nicer to me lately and he's apologized for shutting me out and treating me like scum as well. I killed it with kindness though; it's a job and whether I like it or not; dating someone at work would never be a wise decis…

How you know your working hard enough

Your feet hurt, you're super exhausted, you're hot, and you're very very thirsty and hungry when you come home.

Ah, the working class of America. Gotta love us baby.

To go with a new look soon

I'll post a cover when it's ready of "Let It Take You"...a beautiful jazzy track from a favorite familiar voice I'm decadent over. Her vibrant voice of angel sound is driving me into's all clear...I must continue dreams...they are all I have left at night

I'm learning the beauty to open my heart let love appear when it feels ready...I look forward to having a loving man in my life at some point...whom ever he is...let it take you <3

Bullying at the workplace

Some of us deal with it everyday and others only see it happen once in a blue moon or never run into these issues. Bullying is a very widely delayed issue. It's one that work ethics should always mention regardless of the stature of business you are conducting within the facility. 
Today was a prime example to why I choose to use the Open Door Policy (a policy which intends to stamp out bullying at the workplace and allows an associate to voice their problems to management)
 As I was unloading freight onto shelves as per usual; I had a conversation within the process with my co-worker; Frances. Her and I often talk through out the usual work we're given because it makes it go by quicker and it helps us to do an even better job. It's notable that management already told us it is okay to talk while working so long as you complete your tasks. I make sure every day/night I leave; my floors are clear and all work has been's not easy, but I tend to get it don…

The British are coming

I'm planning on covering the song listed above. It's one of my favorite songs lately; the beat and the lyrics are very rhythmic and key to the type of voice I think I can really work with. It's a very British sound but it's beautiful and I admire European musicians so well for how in tune they are and how artistic they become. This is the major reason as to why I want to move to Europe someday; just to embody the music and the art. Two things of which I am fond of quite a lot and want to partake in within my lifetime.
Listen and admire the possibility of my voice covering this track :)
I think I can do a good enough job.

Jelly bean, oh jelly bean

So I wasn't getting updates from Google.
I took it on as a challenge and ended up flashing the brand new Android 4.1 version which was shown at Google I/O this past week.
It's absolutely lovely :)
Have a look:

New Shiny Toy Guns single debut today!

Waiting AloneThe new album drops later this month :) Carah Faye is back <3#III

Best album lately


One of the great treasures of living in America is the addition of Roku. A streaming player that offers up to 500+ channels for free.It works with virtually any TV and streams in 1080p HD. I bought one and I'm in love with it already :) You should get one (Sadly, it is only available in the U.S. currently but keep checking)

Fifty shades of grey

It's a new fad around the nation; even at work, it's intensifying with every book. A book that is said to be controversial and full of BDSM talk; erotic conversation, and intense sexual affairs. Sex shops are even getting in on the action. 
I began reading a chapter on it; considering I hate reading...this book is really like people say; it's very addicting. I'm finding myself wanting to buy the trilogy just to read the rest of it. I'm not sure how the writer is able to grab so many of us like this but it's almost magical in a sense. I like it so far though; it's different. 
A book worth noting considering its public notion so far. It isn't often I find myself captivated by words; this may be a point of collection for me. I may fall into this trap and force myself to put the books down when I learn I can't get enough of the graces of page by page full of intense vocabulary and shining humor.


What a year it was then. I was young; sad however from bullying but nothing that a loving sister couldn't fix in the day.

I decided to take it back tonight; I loved the jazz and indie version of Goldfrapp when she first debuted back in 2000. Her music is still amazing to me; even then it was clear her talent was unwaveringly excellent. She has a weird musical track however it's lovely to hear because it shows her creative process was clearly intimate within her editing and such before the releases came.

I value her highly; almost as if she's like a queen to me. More so; I respect her as the talent she really is. I'd love to attend the school she attended; clearly she learned from the best. Goldfrapp; never stop baby. We love you.