June 29, 2011

Rare track from Shiny Toy Guns

It's never been released and by far one of my favorites so far. I love Carah Faye's voice in this one and it really resonates with the sound that they had from the beginning.

Sad news recently however came about when a tweet from there Twitter page displayed that they were robbed of there main recording MacBook which was being used in the production of their new album to be released "III". Keep them in your prayers everyone!

June 28, 2011

"Up From Below" album review

Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

One of my favorite songs from their album "Up From Below" and it's absolutely cute. I'd classify their sound to remind me a little bit of older 70s sound; much like early demos of Janis Joplin and some mix of Coldplay on "Desert Song" and slightly on "Om Nashi Me" which is the last track on the album (so far the only moments I've noticed where they sound a little modernized but still sticking with their original and true sound)

"40 Day Dream" is reminiscent of some early 70s ballads I remember listening to a few years back. Overall, this album is by far eclectic and absolutely a work of art. I'm enjoying it so far and I'd highly recommend anyone who has iTunes to go grab yourself a copy. It really embodies the sounds of our last generation before today's extreme lyrics and extra complicated auto tune inventions. "Black Water" is very much like "40 Day Dream" but sits a softer side and reminds me of a Pink Floyd combined with Elvis Presley type of aura. Maybe a little bit of Johnny Cash in there perhaps.

So far, this music inspires my boho look a little bit and helps me to enjoy both an older country melody combined with a touch of the boho empowerment that was found back in the flower power generation. It's clear that this band is truly living in that era and they really captured the sound that was so big way back in those days.

Check them out on MySpace Music at

Alexander (with whom is prominently known on the album has a new solo debut album released on iTunes as well self-titled "Alexander")

June 27, 2011

The site toolbar is now up and running again. Apparently it wasn't showing up due to some issues between Wibiya and Google's widget platform.

Toolbar failing to load

Recently after updating my site toolbar; it has decided not to load up. I am going to work hard to make sure it is up and running again so please bare with me until this issue is resolved.

The toolbar is hosted through whom recently has been aquired by Conduit (a company that also creates toolbars but installs the into your browser)

I'll post an update when everything has been resolved.

Private matters are meant to be private; right?

So I've been thinking lately about how some of my friends have been with their personal private matters.

I've had friends whom have given fair detail on things that they claim are private to them but yet they are posting statuses on Facebook that they "just had sex" and things of that nature.

I'm not saying your fake but the proof is in the terms. I don't believe the world wants to know that you just had sex and nor do they care. I know I don't.

Call me old fashioned but I just don't think you should post sensitive and private things like that.

I may not address myself as a classy person all the time and certainly not through my demeanor at times but I am. I think that sexual matters and relationship matters (unless you just got married and that only applies to relationships) shouldn't be used as a means to advertise yourself.

It's the reason that as I've gotten older; I don't talk about whom I date or sleep with or any of that because I don't see a reason for it. I've always felt like I was supposed to be in the 80s; not the 90s. Though the 80s isn't an example to use for this subject.

I believe class is a characteristic that every person either has or doesn't have. Some of us know when it's most prone to show and when it's not.

So I guess the question boils down to; are you going to be a classy person for once or spread your advertisements of promiscuity and pathetic talk?

Ciao ciao

June 25, 2011


I woke up this morning and decided to go into the kitchen and check the cabinets to see if there was any new food while I was asleep that my dad might of purchased; there wasn't of course.

That's not what this post is about though. To my tired eyes, I saw a ROACH run across the middle part of the cabinet. I wanted to vomit at the very thought of even seeing such a disgusting creature around my home much less in the one place that we've tried to avoid getting them.

This crap needs to STOP. I've said millions of times already that we need to get some ultrasonic plugins for the house (they vibrate those things away) and we never got them when we had the money to get them. They're only $10 at Walmart for crying out loud.

Now, my appetite is dead. I don't even want to imagine eating anything now that I just saw that. I guess we're just destined to have them things follow us every place we go.

If I ever live in Europe though; I won't have them there because if I do; I'm moving somewhere else or I'll bomb the place with some kind of bug killing stuff that they got out there.

I feared this, and it happened. See what happens when you don't take important advice?

June 24, 2011

R.I.P Lorrie Ann Ozmun Whaley

Not long ago, my mother of many years (Married to my dad for quite some time) passed away. We don't know for sure what it was that killed her but we know she was a thoughtful, caring, and compassionate woman with a whole lot of heart for her family.

Today, I got in the mail two wonderful photos (one of which I forgot even existed and another one of my sister with her boyfriend Chris) I also got a very memorable DVD with photos from my mothers years in her life. I watched the DVD and couldn't help but cry for a vast majority of the time because I do miss her. I'm thankful that I was able to grow up with her and to make fond memories that I can hold onto.

Below are the two photos I got and a video (hosted on YouTube) of the DVD. I wanted to post this because I wanted to share something with people that I never did before. The fact that I have family in other places. Family that for a long time, I didn't have contact with until recently.

Take a look at the beautiful video and photos. It really brings warmth to my heart to see how much love is within our family and how much joy I remember having when Lorrie (my mother) was alive. She may not have been my biological mother but to me; she felt like she was and still I look at her as if she is my biological mother. I love her dearly and may she rest in peace with Jesus.

As of today, I haven't ever known just how bad her health was, but it's believed she died because of her diabetes. Her sugar level was in the thousands when she passed away. We can rest assure that she's not suffering anymore with her health problems like she did while on this Earth.

The important thing to do is to remember her for all the beautiful memories we shared and created and for all the times that she smiled with us.


Video created by Jamie Ozmun; Lorrie's Daughter and my Sister.


Me at a tender young age around Christmas time.

Jamie and Chris.

June 21, 2011

Boho style and my new found eclection

So last night as I watched a little biography on the life of Janis Joplin, I realized how in common I am with her and how my style reflects what she wore in her era. I love the flower power generation for it's clothing and eclectic musical styles. the Bohemian look has always been one I've been attracted to. I love the whole simple but extreme context with clothing and the earth appreciative jewelry and hair pieces.

I've been searching on eBay for "hippie" clothing and jewelry because my style is yet again changing just a little slightly. I want to wear what Janis wore. I want to be like she was (minus the drugs and ecentric cussing) and I want to move to places that not only accept me but will KNOW me. I want that Madonna feel and Joplin appeal.

Much like her, I was always the wild child, the one that was very out there and really didn't give a crap about what everyone wanted of me because it was about what I wanted in my life. As I've gotten older; things have changed and progressed so it's harder to embrace that gift I have when so many others out there are struggling to make it. In the 60s, 70s, and 80s, adapting to your musical persona and bringing yourself into that place was much easier than it is today.

Today, people are using social media to grab attention but I don't want to do that. I want to do it like Jimmi did, like Bowie, and the greats did. I want to go to bars and play with a band and scream out lyrics that drive people to want to know more.

So as my musical style hasn't necessarily evolved where I want it to be yet. My fashion sense will get there. I want to look like a million dollars but feel like I'm still Branden.

Ciao ciao

June 19, 2011

The joy of family

So we came down to High Point, NC on Friday and since we've been having a lot of fun with the kids and spending time with my sister from another mother whom I haven't seen since we were all very very young. I had forgotten all the fantastic memories we had together.

All the times of us going up the road (which is now a gigantic river dam) and visiting the florist shop; just thinking to ourselves how beautiful the flowers were and always trying to get money to go buy some together.

Little Jamie is looking beautiful and she's with a very nice military guy. I know; you're thinking that I have something bad to say because he's military but in all honesty; I really like this guy and I'm glad that my sister is with him. He's polite and easy to get along with; not a common thing you find in Jacksonville but it was refreshing and I'm very happy for her.

She's still as sweet as ever and we talked for hours about all of our childhood memories. Remembering days when we would visit one of the Christian music stores and she would gather music to sing at church. She has such a beautiful voice :)

We reminisced on days by the creek; playing with the crawl dad's and falling on our bums trying to hope from one rock to the other during hot summer days. So many memories here that I lost and thankfully; she brought a lot of them back. I feel even more connected to this place again. It feels like home again.

I had forgotten how much I had here too, I left a place that I grew, a place that made me the person I am. Jacksonville does have it's perks but there is always and always will be nothing like home. Except for maybe Europe; but only if I have a certain someone by my side to guide me and pressure a few giggles along the way :)

The baby is so so cute. Always smiling, looking around as if in search of what place he is in and at times, the most adorable and pleasing laugh you could ever hope to hear.

Kyzer is such a mess but a cute mess at that. Talking in baby language at times and telling us what things are. Every time he see's a truck he says "big truck" and for trains, "big choo choo"

He's a smart kid too and a little helper as well. I helped clean my sisters place with her the other night (got a lot done in no time!) and he kept helping me out; handing me the dust pan...moving the chair out of the way

and he has one adorable smile and laugh. It's truly angelic to see him smile and laugh sometimes. I forget how precious kids really are. I'm so glad to have my little nephews and I can see how happy they've made my family.

We all love them both and they are by far the cutest little kids I could have hoped for!

Meanwhile, my dad is laying in bed...sound asleep...snoring like a freight train and well, I'm awake writing this post as a result.

I got a little bit of sleep but it's been a steady "up and go" kind of vacation; I like it though. I almost lost touch with socialism and this whole weekend; I kinda got it back and I'm glad that I came down here.

Well, time for me to tend to text messages, Facebook comments, and the occasional stare at the TV which is playing "Cars" right now.

Hope all is well in everyone's lives and I can't wait to start making new memories again!

Perhaps Europe can stir me a little tea and place a few crumpets out for me? *HINT HINT*


Ciao ciao.

June 17, 2011

Using SSH on Ubuntu based computers

Sometimes a business or school needs to be able to network seamlessly but with Windows; that means costly licenses and complicated setup just to get every computer to function in the way that is intended.

Ubuntu is a free Linux operating system which is highly recognized by millions of businesses, schools, government agencies, and fortune 500 companies.

It's also the most popular form of Linux for home users too and has given a common household name in Europe for it's robust security, elegant style, and fast speeds. People all over the world enjoy Ubuntu for everything. Even web design and professional photography.

Maybe your using Ubuntu now and you need a little help on getting started (this tutorial only applies to Ubuntu 10.10 and below - 11.04 isn't yet known provide this possibility in the same way)

1. Start by opening the Server program from the applications menu on Ubuntu; it should read "Connect to Server..."

2. Enter the IP address of the computer you want to connect to as well as the username and password of the user account that you want to access.

3. Be sure that in the Port box, you type in 22. This is the port you will need to connect to the computer and work with your files or simply access them.

4. Know the name of the computer your trying to connect to. For example "Brian-PC" or "Home-PC" would be an example of a computer name that you need to input with the prior information in order to connect to the Server.

Note: You may need internet connectivity to successfully complete this process.

You can alternatively install and run Samba to run a few command prompts for full Windows-like functionality within file transfers; sharing; and server hosting.

June 16, 2011

Some things you should consider

It's not a secret that a lot of the things we use can harm us in ways that can eventually kill us if we aren't using a safe alternative.

Take for example that Cancer is actually higher if the chemical Dioxin is released into our bloodstream and this is usually through cooking food in the microwave with plastic wrap covering or in plastic itself.

Here are three essentials to know about cooking your food properly and at the same time; lowering your risk of getting Cancer.

1. No plastic containers in microwave. Plastic containers and the like contain Dioxin which is known to be a severely poisonous toxin that is within plastic. It's known to cause Cancer.

2. No water bottle in freezer. Water bottles are made of plastic; plastic when frozen can expand into the water and release Dioxin into the frozen water; making the water contaminated and highly poisonous.

3. No plastic wrap in microwave. Plastic wrap; even in a fridge is not good because the temperature will expand the chemical throughout the plastic and release it into the food.

Instead of plastic; take the food and put it on GLASS; glass will offer the same benefits without the harmful Dioxin chemical and you will be preventing yourself from getting Cancer. It is important to know though that Cancer can be caused by several factors but plastic is a major risk factor that goes untold to many people.

I've taken the time today to look up a lot of this information because I felt that a post on Cancer prevention and what can raise the risk is important considering that my family is known for getting Cancer a lot more often in comparison to other families that I know of.

Some key factors that can prevent cancer is not only denying the use of plastic materials but also building a STRONG immune system.

A strong immune system will destroy cancer cells and prevent them from multiplying or forming tumors.

When a person has cancer; it indicates the person has nutritional deficiencies. These can be due to genetics, environmental, food and lifestyle factors.

To build a strong immune system that will fight the risk of Cancer; you should change your diet to eat more healthy and adequately, 4-5 times a day and by including supplements which can provide added prevention.

Some other things to remember about radiation and chemotherapy; they both can destroy your healthy cells, tissues, and organs. They can also burn and scar them as well.

The thing to remember on this ordeal though is that treatment shouldn't be prolonged because after some time, it can actually resist tumor destruction and make it harder to get rid of the cancer.

Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing
cancer cells and also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells
in the bone marrow, gastrointestinal tract etc, and can
cause organ damage, like liver, kidneys, heart, lungs etc.

Seems like everyone is dying of cancer

I can't help but wonder about it lately, it seems cancer is becoming even more prominent in my life both in my family and my friendships.

Not only did I find out that my grandpa (on my mom's side) got colon cancer recently but my friend Michael just lost his boyfriend to cancer this morning.

I feel horrible for him because I know how it feels to lose someone you love and for him, it's worse because he lost someone that he saw a future with. It's like how I felt when I lost my failed relationships in the past; it's like a piece of you goes on that you can't get back sometimes. I really hope and pray that things improve for him because I love my friends and I want the best for all of them.

Michael, stay strong bud. It's not easy but you've got a friend in me and I will be there in any way that I can be.

God, please help all of those out there with battling cancer and those who have lost loved ones to cancer.

I'll keep praying as much as I can because to believe is to never give up hope.

June 15, 2011

No internet and very little 3G

So last night at my dad came in from work; our phone and internet was working well as usual when all of the sudden it cuts off after my dad tried to open his browser.

It's not just his computer though, it's also mine that can't get the connection which means either the box is messed up or they cut off our internet at random for some reason.

As of right now, I only have 3G and it's not much unfortunately but at least it's enough to post this post, send an e-mail, and post a status update on Facebook.

So I suppose it will do until it very rapidly disappears. Regardless, I was really looking forward to tonight because it would mean a certain wonderful friend would call me and I could have someone to relate to other than some imaginary people in my brain and my family.

Since we're basically in the stone ages today (with the exception of television), I am going to attempt to clean the house with what little bit of energy I have in me.

Here's to a clean house and our internet coming back on!

Ciao ciao

June 14, 2011

A few reasons why Chromebook fails

Yes, it is rather sad for a pilot to write down these particular weak spots but I'm rather frustrated with the results of the latest beta build.

Some things you can't do (some are still broken) are:

-Voice and video chat with other Google Talk members through Gmail and Google Talk app

The whole point of having this app on here and Google Talk on Gmail is for us to have the ability to use our cameras and microphones; considering that I can do neither; this is the biggest flop so far.

-Ability to communicate with Skype users through IMO.IM

This isn't possible right now given the fact that the microphone doesn't work or the audio is way too low. The settings panel however displays no microphone and no camera (even after the Pepper flash plugin has been disabled)

This is another setback for many users because people will want to communicate on Skype as it is one of the biggest VoIP services available to date.

You are still unable to watch WMA, AVI files and HTML, JSON files will NOT delete from the file manager. Integration is poor as the only integration into the file manager currently has shown to be Picasa but if you browse through the Chrome Web Store; you can find a few add-ons to make this a little bit better.

Overall, Chromebook isn't half bad for basic uses but for more advanced uses such as VoIP, Video, and other forms of Audio calling; it currently ranks at the lowest denominator in terms of its offerings and services. BUT this is if you are on the Beta channel still. Stable seems to be generally the same way but slightly better.

Regardless, Google has a huge amount of work ahead before Chromebook will be known as a stable and reliable alternative to Windows and other like systems. I am hoping for Google's success with this but only time can tell. If the basic functions can't be added or panned out to work with Chromebook's (especially for us with Cr-48 computers) - This will be a major failure on Google's behalf.

Here's to hoping!

Ciao ciao

June 13, 2011

Oh Teresa, you really know how to flip..

I couldn't help but laugh a little bit when I watched this because she looks crazy when she goes off and her mouth just keeps running or maybe it's the accent that really got me.

Finding forgiveness from a hamburger

I was reading an article on Joyce Meyer's website that explained how a hamburger taught her to always forgive. It might sound silly and a bit out there that you can learn something from a small incident with a hamburger but it is truly possible and it's these small moments that we overlook most that can teach us so much that we don't know.

To quote her; "You can't have real love unless you’re willing to forgive. Love keeps giving the other person another chance. Love keeps trusting them over and over again, expecting them to do the right thing the next time. I realize there are big hurts and also little things we deal with daily. Sometimes we may not even know what is agitating us, but we need to decide to let go of its irritating hold on us. "

I love that quote because it's not just true to my heart but it helps me to see clearer what I hadn't seen before on the basis of love and forgiveness too. I think that sometimes we forget that God was about forgiveness, love, peace, and hope and that he exists for those reasons. I'm glad to see something that is relative to our daily lives share a lesson that we neglect to accept sometimes.

When we forgive someone, it's for the better of not just ourselves but for the other person. We aren't meant to hurt peoples feelings nor does God want that in any of us. We were meant to love unconditionally and to bring hope to those around us who have lost hope. It is our God given right to be happy and God wants that for all of us.

As U2 (one of my favorite bands) has quoted in their song "The City of Blinding Lights"; "blessings are not just for the ones who kneel, luckily", I firmly believe that God isn't just looking out for us who believe in him but he is looking out for everyone. Blessings really aren't just for the ones who kneel but for the ones who haven't given their problems to him.

Now I'm not going to badger you if you don't believe God exists although I don't agree; I will let you make the decision on that because it's not my place to do it for you. Only you can decide what you want out of life.

In my personal belief, I believe that encouragement is good but prayer is even better. I'm not here to 'convert' or to 'force' you into anything because I wouldn't want that being done upon myself and I know God wouldn't want that either. I'm here to be helpful and to bring hope to those that can't find it. No matter how much it might scare us; we are accountable for ourselves and I know that if I can help shine light on that subject by providing people with hope in whatever way that I can; I may very well have helped them to make a positive decision in their path.

Always remember this; positiveness is key and God loves us all.

I don't do this often but..

Today I felt like posting this video from one of my favorite preachers. She really delivered a message that I've been wondering about for a long time and I'm thankful that God has given her the ability to share this message. For years I've dealt with spiritual battle between right and wrong and what is and what isn't and for me to finally see this message being delivered in her sermon today; I am happy beyond words because I feel like this message was for me.

Even if you don't believe, I'd encourage you to see what this lady has to say. It's full of life and it really makes sense. Even if you don't want to, I would still encourage it because this message is good for all of us; not just Christians.

Here's the video:

June 12, 2011

Strange dream

I'm not sure what it means or where it comes from because one of the girls mentioned I didn't know and the other seemed like she was a ghost more than an actual person.

We were in a school, maybe even a college somewhere and some guy who didn't get a long with me because I'm gay started to try and fight me but I didn't want to fight; I kept saying to him, "all I want for you to do is to get back in the line with everyone else"

He wouldn't listen and kept trying to fight me; I was holding a pillow or something as a shield against his blows. While everyone else was staring in awe of the fact that he completely lost his mind.

Later on, I was inside of a rich and beautiful home with my friend Ashlee (whom I grew up with) and a girl I have never met named Isalena (I don't know this name nor do I recognize it)

She walked in on me grabbing some change for my lunch as Ashlee was in the bathroom reading a magazine. It was like a traditional bathroom except it had more snazzy decorating than I had previously seen.

Isalena mentioned her name and only I could see her. She went inside of the bathroom closet (which had clothing in it and a couple boxes) and said as the lights dimmed (almost cutting off while the man that went crazy was screaming frantically) "This is where Isalena hid, she was a smoker" and then she disappeared. Ashlee was dormant through the entire moment and finally came back to life after Isalena left.

I hid in the closet to keep away from the crazy guy and he almost found me. Little did me and Ashlee know, there was a secret safe room beyond those walls in another part of this place.

It was in the closet where we discovered a door that lead us to a safe house. We went to the safe house and finally felt safe.

The safe house had a special door which opened to the outside world but it was also hidden from people outside; so the crazy guy couldn't see where we were. It was magnificent.

After that point however, I woke up.

The point of this post is the fact that I had a very strange dream. A girl I didn't know, A girl I do know, and some crazy guy that hated me.

Sounds like a plot to a Lifetime movie doesn't it?

Either way, I'm not sure what to consider this dream but it's weird nonetheless and I definitely can't figure it out.

All I remember about the girl I met in this dream is she had black curly (long) hair, a red turtleneck on, and black pants (she looked like a professional or a girl who you would see at a opera concert) and I never got her last name. She looked Hispanic or of decent within that area.

Me and Ashlee were young still but grown enough to have our own children.

June 10, 2011

So I was going through old voicemails and..

I didn't realize that it was a classy thing to call someone and do nothing but have me hear YOU having sex with someone.

Look, I don't know why people do what they do but that is not going to make me talk to you and it most certainly is the most vile and unattractive attribute for any guy to do. This was a voicemail from about 4 months ago but still; the factor that after listening closely and hearing "oh, yeah" and things like that is sickening to me because I would think you would have a LOT more class than to act like that on my voicemail.

First off, it's not necessary to put that stuff on my voicemail because your not going to get into my pants with that crap and it's not cute or 'sexy' to me.

Secondly, I want to speak with people who STILL have their morals and family values. NOT some hornball who can't keep his private life in tact. I don't want to listen to you having sex and nor would I want to have someone listen to my private time either.

It's just not attractive and it's one of the most distasteful things to me. I don't care if we spoke a long time ago, just because I talk to you doesn't mean I'm interested in that kind of behavior. I looked at you as a new friend that I could potentially get to know but now I don't see that at all. I see someone who is immature, distasteful, disrespectful, and overall incompatible with me EVER giving you time of day whether it be friendships or otherwise.

My point being is, no matter who you are. DON'T call my phone and leave dirty voicemail. I have a LOT more class than to put up with that and I don't accept it. Sex is something I don't want to dial out to voicemail and hear. How about a polite "Hi, please call me back" or something of that nature. Sex is not a voicemail capable moment. Not for me at least.

If I get another one from you; I'm first blocking your number and then secondly I will be blocking all other forms of contact with you. I don't deserve to get disrespect from someone who is unable to respect themselves nor find a sense of class that can constitute for their private behavior. KEEP IT PRIVATE.

Ugh. Nasty loser.

Listen to the nonsense here:

Why millionaires needs to grow up.

So Robin is a bubbly millionaire whom can't take her eyes off the bitter sweet evil tarts. She goes out on a date with a pure loser who is only out to get the goodies (and not the sexual kind either)

I may be poor but I know better than to use ANYONE for their money because not only would I not want that for myself but I won't do it because it's NOT RIGHT.

Anyway, look at this video and post your reaction in the comment section below.

June 9, 2011

A little rant

I hate going onto a blog and seeing a face that reminds me of my past; whether it be a relationship that didn't work or a venture I never was successful at. I always stumble when I see a photograph.

Recently I came across a post of some guy who resembled a beautiful rich kid (from my mindset it's what I pictured) and he looked like a typical Armani wearing blonde with pouty lips and a soulful look in his eyes. I instantly felt jealous. Maybe it's because secretly, I would love to be like that person I see. Always effortlessly gorgeous in whatever I wear, always looking like I'm some snazzy king with tons of friends and a high class boyfriend.

It's in my nature to want the finer life because I'm a Leo and almost every Leo I've met (excluding celebrities) always love the finer things in life. A friend of mine only likes to buy designer fragrances but still has a down-to-earth side and doesn't mind wearing a shirt from Walmart or Sears.

For me, I love to look wealthy but I don't think I would want to be wealthy. I wouldn't want to change myself to fit a social ideal or to spread the common ground that I am essentially the blame for some of the economic issues. No, rich people are not to blame for our economic crisis. Goldman Sachs is and so is Wall Street.

Love me or hate me for it but it's what I believe. Look up the facts and you will know about the truth behind our problems too. Thank God for Google.

I've taken the initiative to keep many secrets (including my future love life; I won't ever explain myself to people on whom I'm dating or what I'm committed to because a love life isn't meant to be flaunted; it's meant for YOUR EYES ONLY)

Besides, I may not act like it but I do have a lot of class deep down. My morals are high but they aren't ridiculous at least.

Regardless, The photo made me even more jealous because the guy (whom was being talked about in the post) had something I don't. Someone who crushed upon them. Someone who WANTED them.

I've longed to have felt that and when I did, it's a shortcoming because it doesn't last. Though reality sets in and tells me that it won't ever be.

It's depressing and it's a harsh loss but I'm defensive, I'm bitter, and I'm cold. Love is just a battle and well, I've learn to surrender in that battle. The problem is, I never won at the end, I kept losing and losing until finally, I gave up.

So to those out there that believe love is the key; I challenge you to prove it not only to people like me who can't seem to find it, but prove it to YOURSELF.

I need the logic behind it, otherwise the proof isn't valuable. Good luck.

Ciao ciao.

My big fat Gypsy wedding

So I turned to the TLC channel tonight and started watching a very interesting show.

These people give up their traditional lives for a 'mobile' life on the road. I never knew though that a lot of Gypsies can be found in the UK and not just America.

I'm still misunderstood on the term and still confused as to what it really is but more power to them. I prefer the term; traveler however.

I used to think that the term Gypsy meant that the person was a seer of some sorts or part of some kind of India culture that I don't know about.

It also seems there are a lot of Irish ones too. I'm learning something new everyday about my heritage. I do love me Irish and English folks :)

Well, the show is on again. Time to observe my dears.

Ciao ciao.

June 8, 2011

Am I really getting crap about groceries?

It's no secret that our economy is lacking funds and savings for those of us who can't afford much.

All I was asking was to go and check on the deals at the store so I can find out if we can afford to get some meat or something that can actually last vs. petty sandwich food and pop tarts.

Look, I am 21 years old and I do get hungry. I'm not asking to spend $100 per visit or anything and I know we are tight on money but when you go shopping for groceries, you should think of what will last; not stuff that is considered more of a snack and won't fill the tummy.

For example (on terms of laundry soap), you didn't have to buy 6 small bottles of soap from the dollar store and spend $6 altogether; you would have been much better off on getting one bottle or one big bottle (costing $2.50) and stop at that.

So if you want to complain about ME and your stupid money; then so be it but I'm just trying to lookout for our last week or so before we go back home to visit.

I can't believe it, I'm right back to bitching with my dad over groceries and money; two things I care less about.

and some people out there wonder why money isn't important to me; it's because it TEARS PEOPLE APART and it really starts to destroy the relation of kindness between the two.

I hate that money even exists and I know that it will be my mission someday to feed the hungry because I grew up in their shoes. I don't want to bring children into a world where money is important. I want to show them that CHARACTER is more important that how much you have or what you are going to spend.

A big reason why I want to start couponing is because it can SAVE us money and in return help us get food and things we need without eating us alive in bills.


When we get the money; no one wants to buy the printer ink that we need to print out these coupons that could potentially save our behinds every month. Instead of shopping for the moment; we need to shop in bulk. It's less money in the end.

BUT I guess I'm stupid and can't figure it out huh?

So as far as I'm concerned, I'll just let YOU figure it out and let YOU get stupid with the money because YOU don't know how to freaking budget or keep eye on deals.


Some conceptual clips [UPDATED]

Log-in to Dropbox:
Password: bmikal

Dropbox (Click this link to access music files)

So some people have asked about my music. It's been a secret process but I've been playing around lately with some new VST plug-ins with my recording software (on the Windows computer) and it's become an addictive form.

I feel like some of the vocals on these songs are some of my better versions. I've been using a better microphone with these and I'm excited to share these small clips of some building block concepts for future arrangements. These are not meant to be judged or taken into a personal context. They are merely conceptual ideas that I believe will help me develop in the (hopefully near) future.

These clips are best heard on headphones but with "Loudness Equalization" you will be able to listen to them WITHOUT headphones if you desire.

On a side note, I've also been working on a webpage for technology posts. It's not too great but I've worked hard on it and I like the result so far at least. You can check it out here.

NOTE: If you're using Windows 7, it is recommended that you enable "Loudness Equalization" for a full listening experience. You can enable this feature by right-clicking on the speaker icon in your taskbar. Select "Playback devices" and from there double-click on your default sound source (known as Speakers) now click on the tab labeled "Enhancements" and scroll down to "Loudness Equalization" and check the check box. Click "Apply" and then click "OK", now you're set up with sound that is more prominently aware. Enjoy.

June 2, 2011

Valerio; is that you?

Today I was watching CMT's "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" and thought I had seen a familiar face.

He spoke fluent english, had longer hair but the same color and looked identical to Valerio (a friend of my ex)

It might not have been him but still; it's nice to think that I actually saw him on TV :)

For the record; he looked great and seemed heartwarmingly nice. Something I pictured of this guy since I spoke to him some times ago.

If it wasn't him, at least it made my day to see a show I don't watch much anymore and see a face that resembles someone I've talked to before.

Ciao ciao.

Romance me

No, I don't want roses. I don't want chocolates, and most certainly not any jewelry.

For me, a great way to romance me is through sweets. Particularly one of my favorite lollipops (apparently no longer sold in the US) which originate from Spain.

Yes, I love my Chupa Chups. They are oh-so-delicious!

A nice big bouquet of Chupa Chups with a cute smile would lighten up my afternoon. Perhaps include a little kiss too?

Guess I am meant to visit Europe someday though considering my one favorite lollipop isn't here anymore. I must follow and snatch my lollipops up again!

Ciao ciao.

June 1, 2011

Sunburned and hating it

My shoulders hurt and have little bitty water blisters. Got burnt pretty bad.

I've never had this before but my nose is burnt so bad that my skin is peeling off DURING the sunburn versus after it. Hopefully I won't end up getting something like sun cancer.

Memorial weekend was fun at the beach but leaving the beach; I knew I was going to pay for it. I'm not too fond of it but I suppose it is common sense to know that if you play in the ocean water for too long; the sun will kiss your skin and then you go home feeling like you hung out in an oven all day.

Not really my favorite experience but it could of been worse. Either way, a little tip for everyone; if you want a tan. Get a spray tan instead. it's healthier considering and it won't hurt afterwards.

These days you can look natural with it too; so I say...go for it!

Ciao ciao.