The 60s, Janis, and a life unknown
Such controversial times back in those days. Even in the way that drugs were such a massive thing for people; that has sadly only increased over time.
No, the beauty of the 60s wasn't the free movement or the drugs, or even the sex. It was all about the music. Some great music came out of the 60s. I remember small bits of the Beatles and Nancy Sinatra.
Why is it though that so many who become inspired by this era feel so much need to take drugs, abusing themselves when they have the best gift in the world. They have talent.
The 60s marked important times in our history because it was when several movements began, when the war was closer, and when having a baby was common (though not as common as today)
Fashion was a thing that resembled the bohemian era and music tended to rely on those creations. Janis Joplin was most likely influenced most by the 60s. She wore clothes in that style and say with a jazzy brass that only the heartbroken can truly resonate to. She had the spark of someone in their prime.
Still, I wonder what it would have been like to have been in her shoes for a bit. Just to see what sadness she went through; the heart ache she suffered; the relationships she never had because of people's judgment of her. I resonate with her on many levels because of these things.
In school, I was never the popular kid, or the kid that anyone wanted to go to the dance with. I was the kid that sat in the back towards the window, jotting down in my journal my whispers and rants and daydreaming of a day when a microphone would echo the words that I wanted to read to the world. I would close my eyes sometimes in random moments; singing to myself as if I were in a recording studio.
My childhood wasn't half as bad as many out there but it was tender. Tender enough that when I dealt with the beatings, the drug addictions at 14 and 16 and the promiscuity at 17-19; I felt like I was entitled to something better but I never met anyone who was kind enough to look past the fatherly figure in them; it was always "You gotta do something, you gotta go" and I felt like a star fading in orbit.
We can lie and say we want to remember the good times but we all secretly remember the bad times more. I think it's because they were even deeper that the good times when it came to our emotional state. It's a bit like a horror movie. You want to turn it off but it doesn't go away. You want to make it disappear and yet it's always there to keep you company.
As a teen, sex was a issue for me given that I didn't have a clear picture of what I wanted, what made me feel, who made me feel, or where I should feel (of any kind of emotion or trance)
Many of us start early with the jist of it being we explore and just continue. When I had my first love; I was lucky enough to have lost something to him that was far more special than even those I've been with since. Friends with benefits never crossed my mind in all honesty; I did know of it's existence however. Never did I imagine that it would become important to me later in life when making critical choices on who I wanted to share those feelings with. I don't want to tell just anyone.
Much like packing for a trip; it's a story you write everyday when it happens. Boy meets boy, activity happens, tears begin, and lastly, a heart beat too slow.
Is that what this is really about?
Sometimes in life, it feels like love, sex, and the whole play by play of it all is just one big musical. A musical waiting to breakthrough and convey the masses with a glimmer of something beyond self extreme.
Still, I wonder...does the man in beige still turn the page?