Showing posts from October, 2011

If Jenny can do it; so can I

I'm doing something I haven't ever done on my blog. I'm posting my phone number for all the world to harass.

Crazy as it seems; I'm curious to see what kind of calls I receive or who will call me or if I will even get any phone calls; since we live in an era of text messaging and non-social networking.

PS: It's a cell phone (at least now it is) so don't get upset if it goes to voice mail; I'll try to answer every call I can though!



For years I felt confident in my voice that I could sing just about anything. These days I've lost my voice so much that I can't even sing some of my favorites like I could before; it doesn't help that when I got sick; my voice was damaged along with it. So, there goes my dream career.

You know, it's funny, we spend our entire lives wishing and hoping for this array of miracles to happen for us and when they don't happen; we're disappointed. We get caught up in our worry and our drive to live in a world where work is vital and play is a back burner.

I've lost that voice. I've lost that dream. What does one do when they realize they don't have the ability anymore? How did Shania Twain get her voice back and how would I get mine back? Is it a yearly thing or something that happens over the course of a couple months?

I tried practicing vocals a lot more lately but it seems I have to scream almost just to get to the notes I want to reach and my vocals are …

A clean house

makes for a clean heart; so I was once told at least. It's only now that looking back on that small little quote that I can understand it. Every time I clean the house, I look around and think to myself how great it is that my house looks like a beautiful home again. It brings me comfort and joy and always helps lift me up after a bad day and if not; Swedish fish and romantic comedies help unless it deals with love; then it's comedies without the romanticism.

Tomorrow marks the first day that Brenda, Dylan, and the latest addition to our clan; Tommy will be home. It's been nearly 5 months since we actually were together in person. Now I know the horror that military families feel and I give them my gratitude in being able to deal with it. Especially when you love someone. Much like my past; I've had a great many of situations like that. Wondering if they're okay, hoping they'll make it back, and so on.

I'm excited for tomorrow. No more lonely thinking or di…


is so beautiful :)

Pretty woman

Sometimes I feel like I'm Julia Roberts. Struggling with life and then something good happens. The only difference is; I'm not a prostitute and I'm not escorting for a rich guy and having to wear elegant clothes that cost more than my dream home.

Still I dream of having a life like Julia's in this movie. Meeting someone, being swept off my feet by kindness and a swift charming stare. The only problem as to why I could never fit into the lifestyle is because one; I don't eat snails or other things that crawl and I'm too outspoken for most of those type of people.

I've met a few wonderful people though that would classify as what people would normally say are the rich and snobby. Not all of them are bad and many of them do have a heart. Some are just a little bit less understanding of my kind simply because they haven't experienced the hardships we have or never had to worry about some of the same things that we have.

Either way, good or bad. Sad or happy…

In the 90s and today

We would talk through blogs, profile pages on MySpace, and the occasional phone call. It never occurred just how much our world has evolved. We've come from profiles and blogs to texting and video chat.

I miss those days back in the 90s. The 90s were a good era. No worries, no heartaches, childhood was filled with excitement that at the end of the school season we had 3 months of freedom ahead of us to have fun and explore our growing up process.

When I was a kid, I remember falling in love with all the boy bands that came out. Staying up until 11pm to watch MTV award shows, and scary movies with my sister. I remember when I was sick and I stayed home; my sister would sometimes stay out to tend to me like mother would. She was my sister but also my best friend. Something that as we got older; we lose.

I remember the old place. It was two stories and a nice apartment at least. All of my friends were in the neighborhood so I could always find someone to talk to when I needed to. I s…

Virgin Mobile fail

Again and again I continue to deal with failures to resolve issues, rude representatives, and the occasional India guy hitting on me when I call to try and get this problem resolved.

I hate that I've had to do this so much but it's always come down to it. I'm the customer and I am always right; remember?

So I've been having issues with my Android phone lately and I am under warranty. I've tried and tried to get a replacement because I qualify and I even went online and read up on the terms for it (very tiring process I might add) and it clearly states that I am covered for phone damages that are not self inflicted.

Each time that I've called, they tried to contact corporate because they were unable to activate my number to get the replacement process taken care of. It's been about a week or so since I filed a ticket for this issue and STILL corporate is failing to contact me or review the issue.

I get that they are busy and have thousands of customers to te…

My current addiction

Mmm yummy!

Roseanne said it best

"People can change, that's why you can't give up on them."

A change would do you good

The whole occupy movement is getting crazy. In Oakland, CA a retired veteran was shot with one of the rubber bullets that officials were using to try and break down the crowd. These people were peacefully protesting and now the police have started to throw explosive devices near them, tear gas, and shoot rubber bullets at them.
The guy that served in the military who arrived home from Iraq injured is said to be in critical condition tonight and suffering from a skull fracture and swelling of the brain. Is this really worth all of the protesting that we've been doing in my country? I thought police officers were supposed to protect us; not harm us.
It's sad that we live in such a mean and cruel world like this. It isn't our world though; it's the people. In this era of instant and promises being vaguely seen; we're losing humanity and our morals that helped keep us sane for so long.
I look at videos of this hellish behavior that is happening and it makes me cry becau…

To the next guy that "falls" in love with me


Cleaning house

Is never fun but someone's got to do it. My step mom is finally coming home this weekend and I couldn't be more excited to have family back. It gets lonely sometimes just jamming to a song alone or writing thoughts down but having no one to listen to them.

Considering I only have 3 days to get the house in tip top shape; I've got to put a move on it. So much to do around here. Kitchen will be the roughest part considering I have not just the inner layer of the kitchen but the fridge, microwave, and cabinets need there monthly cleaning too.

The good thing about all of this is I will have a nice looking house in time for my step mom's arrival and we have a new member moving in with us. Her oldest son; Tommy is moving in with us for awhile. I have to say I'm a little nervous but unlike Dylan; he's not a phobic asshole. Meanwhile; as I'm typing this..."What is love" is playing on the radio...can we say awkward?

Ah, yes. It's beginning to look a…

Sip a coffee, close your eyes, and listen to some Sheryl Crow


Some of you out there feel this way


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Feeling like a kid the other day; I basked in the ambiance of Cracker Jacks :)

Those were the days eh?

I did it

Fixed my phone all by myself. All it took was some Googling and a bit of courage and I was back.Android is wonderful enough to have a recovery partition on every phone so by taking advantage of that, I was lucky enough to find a tutorial that explained how to access it even if your boot screen was froze like mine was. With a couple button presses; boom, it's like new :) yayyy!

The world will end soon

Because I'm out of candy corn. Prepare yourselves.

Sometimes, it's all in the groove


Too late (song)

You say, I'm not nice
I'm not good, at all
You copy and paste my imperfections to your thought
Only memories clear these vintage walls

You lied and lied to get past
You had a heart but it didn't come back
Now you go on empty, from what I've done
It's like a gun, can't love someone

Is it really, a puzzle who is to blame?
Both of us, both of us
There is no one sided story
Just another fate to crush
Just another name to erase

Go ahead and be like that
You and I know it's too bad
Go ahead and write your hate
You and I know it's just too late

I probably wouldn't care if I could
I probably won't ever see myself understood
I could reason and let be all I can
Thoughts from you just don't understand, understand

What kind of love was it before? Now that it's silent you push against me like a war
Did I deserve this, or was it just part of the plan, or are you more a man than I am?

Go ahead and be like that
You and I know it's too bad
Go ahead a…

Postcards and road signs

I call to the wind, come take my pain
Small lights trickle through my veins
Close my eyes and go back to the beginning
Where the road is wide and I'm still running
Where the child in me doesn't scream
Like stills from a movie scene
Young enough but strong beyond
These failures won't remain calm

Swaying in through my head
White lies claim my debt
Portraits up in the skies
Sorrow will be saying goodbye
I'm not dead, I'm not dead, just yet
I'm not dead, I'm not dead, just yet

It swallows you whole, all your wayward loves 
Can't you let go, can't help I'm not only one
Felt the bullet pressing into my hands
Like I did something that couldn't be forgave
This heartbeat faded long ago
Now I'm missing what I was sold

Swaying in through my head
White lies claim my debt
Portraits up in the skies
Sorrow will be saying goodbye
I'm not dead, I'm not dead, just yet
I'm not dead, I'm not dead, just yet

Spirit in the wind, come take my pain, so …


With a cold and it seems it just doesn't want to go away. I recently found out that colds are most commonly caused by three factors.
1. Air conditioning 2. Air quality changes 3. Temperature changes
All three of these factors are common sense to most of us but we tend to forget the truth behind what causes this issue for so many. It never fails, every winter; spring; and fall. I get sick with a sinus infection. It's not because I'm unhealthy because believe me; I'm in better health than some people my age but it's a lot to do with those three painful factors of life at which I posted above.
Honestly, I wish sickness didn't exist but if it's didn't...a lot of doctors and surgeons would be I guess we just have to accept that it's part of this endless journey we're taking in life.
Here's to getting well soon!

The history of Halloween

The 60s, Janis, and a life unknown

Such controversial times back in those days. Even in the way that drugs were such a massive thing for people; that has sadly only increased over time.
No, the beauty of the 60s wasn't the free movement or the drugs, or even the sex. It was all about the music. Some great music came out of the 60s. I remember small bits of the Beatles and Nancy Sinatra.
Why is it though that so many who become inspired by this era feel so much need to take drugs, abusing themselves when they have the best gift in the world. They have talent.
The 60s marked important times in our history because it was when several movements began, when the war was closer, and when having a baby was common (though not as common as today)
Fashion was a thing that resembled the bohemian era and music tended to rely on those creations. Janis Joplin was most likely influenced most by the 60s. She wore clothes in that style and say with a jazzy brass that only the heartbroken can truly resonate to. She had the spark of som…

Well this would be a bitch

Sometimes, good phones are just not so good. Back in September I purchased the LG Optimus V as my prime choice for my first smartphone/touchscreen and it seems it's lead me to a string of bad luck.

Today, after installing Angry Birds Seasons and transferring a couple apps to my SD card; my phone decided to become evil and start acting up. I decided to reboot the phone and now it's stuck on the Android logo. To restart the phone; you have to pull the battery out and of all these attempts to fix it; I've deemed it unsuccessful.

I called Virgin Mobile support in hopes that they would know what to do. The guy I got was nice and tried his best but it ended up in contacting headquarters which will take me a grand total of about 1-2 weeks before I will receive a response given the high call volume. I'm still under warranty so hopefully I will be able to get a replacement phone but if I can't, I will have to bid farewell to the smartphone world and either recycle the damn…

Home coming

It's been 4 months since my step mother left to visit family and because we are the 1% - She still hasn't had her money come in to get home.
Luckily October is going to be a good month for her because Columbia Southern University sent out one check earlier this week but it was only for a portion of the total amount she's supposed to be getting back.
Tickets went up so it may be possible that she won't be home until November. One can only hope that a miracle will happen for her and the boys.
Tommy; her other son will be living with us soon. I have to say I'm a little nervous given this will be the first time I've ever met him but sources say he's a great guy, so I'll just have to keep that in mind.
It's crazy thinking about what is just around the corner. The 1 year anniversary of my grandpa's passing. I still think about him from time to time, I smile sometimes because I know he's so much better off now that we are. At least he's not dirt…

Blog changes

Soon, I will be taking some measures to change my blog to fit a more casual reader approach. Widgets and the like may no longer be available after this point in order to provide a faster experience and improve the usability of my blog.

I've neglected updating it for some time now but given the new year and the change in the season; it's time to update my blog with a look that suits it better.

Simplistic is easier to read and therefore; my goal is providing this simplistic experience on my blog so that you can enjoy reading my posts instead of waiting forever for the page to load.

Cheers to a new beginning! :)

Child inside


I wish the world was flat, so I could come right back, to what I knew so well


You wish their was just one language, so everyone could know, so everyone wouldn't be in anguish

Run to the woods
They'll see you there
Hiding out for something unfair
Always wondering if anything will come through
Run to the woods
A place they've kept for you

Child declined, lost your mind
Child declined, wasted your time



I changed my mind when I was a boy, a boy conflicted by the name


You kissed the hands of the earth, so no one would get hurt, still it got worse

Run to the woods
They'll see you there
Hiding out for something unfair
Always wondering if anything will come through
Run to the woods
A place they've kept for you

Child declined, can't realize
Child declined, can't touch the sky


We take back all our letters, so we can rewrite ourselves

and I

I could never remember, the ghost I didn't find, inside

Like a vulture you tear apart at the wound, in …

Generation lost

So many times I see kids these days dress in some of the most repulsive rubbish you can imagine. Showing your crotch and your bulge in public is vile and degrading. Leave it for a bedroom or hotel room for that matter.

It's sad these days, kids truly have no respect for themselves; their partners; or their parents. I remember times when keeping your body covered up was still considered classy and elegant of you and you were seen as a respectable person for those gestures. Today we turn on the radio to crappy music that exposes our children to sex, drugs, illegal crime, and so much that they shouldn't be exposed to.

If I ever have kids; I don't want them to live in a world where they don't know what class is. Morals are important because without them; you're no longer in control of yourself and when this happens, you've gone off the deep end...and not for the good either

Some might disagree with me and I can accept that but hear me out; we shouldn't glor…

One song to describe what I'm feeling as of lately


Blog is finally pubic again

It was time to break down the walls and expose my inner thoughts. So keep a look out because I'm coming back.

There goes mister "I love you", again

Like a bag of garbage; another one is out for the taking. I guess it's true, sometimes you just can't get what you really want. For so long I thought that if I was honest and forward about things; I would reap the benefit of getting something that could last or something that would at least mean something enough to pull through small changes. Apparently; this one wasn't so right for me.

Beyond the usual lines of bullshit that guys give me after they meet me, this one was a bit different but still relatively usual. It's not everyday that I run into an Australian who decides in the end to dump me because he feels offended. I'm a self learner; I learn on my own but if YOU don't tell me what is translated as offensive to you; I'm not able to feel sorry for you. Your fault; not mine. I'm just doing the job that is; being your personal hand-me-down.

I'm not writing this post to ridicule myself or any guy for that matter because let's face it; that wou…


I tried it once and I tried it again. It's nothing more than false advertisement and a marketing scheme to get you to pay for bullshit rates that are much cheaper with Google Voice than any other route you could take.
It's unfair that when your advertising free international calls using a service called "FreeConnect", you neglect to tell the customer that your required to have an upgraded account in order to use it. I think it's ridiculous because I'm on the hunt for free international calling so I can talk to some of my international friends and the whole time; you advertising some bullshit that isn't even true or worth while.
FUCK you Jaxtr. You've lost my interest. If you use Jaxtr; I highly recommend finding someone else; you're getting fucked over.