Worry, worry, worry

So apparently we could lose the ability to drive considering that our insurance company surprised my dad with a renewal fee that he can't pay. $70 every six months? Plus the insurance fee for the prior month he just paid.

Food wise, we're barely able to make ends meet. Seems that his paycheck isn't enough to cover anything hardly. Just lost our phone today because he's down to $60 for the month; no TV (not complaining about that because it's not me who cares for it to be honest) and then our internet bill is coming up.

I keep saying it time and time again in my head. I feel like I might have to resort to doing things I got out of before; just to help out. Problem is; I can't afford the trouble of it and living here where I can't do it because I live in a cop filled neighborhood makes it even harder to think of ways to help make it easier on us. I just hope that these Beverly Hills people are thankful of all those nice luxuries they have while my dad is working his ass off and getting nothing in return but more bills from corporate companies that don't give a damn about anyone but themselves.

It's enough to make me go insane. I wake up every day wondering if today is the day that everything will crash down and we won't be able to make it even barely. It's seriously harder than ever to live in a shit country full of political greedy bastards who keep making money off of us who live like we're in a third world country almost.

Sure, we have a home, internet, and a place to sleep, but that doesn't mean we're not suffering. It just means we haven't figured out the key to making the 'poor' thing work for us like others have.

What do you do in these situations? I don't like asking for help but sometimes I wonder if I should. Sometimes I wish I could get in the car and find the local food bank and try to at least enroll even though my family is in "set ways" that they believe it could never happen and I believe it is possible if you TRY.

The only question I have right now about this is; what's going to happen next? we're so below the chain that it's unreal as to how we may ever get out of this mess. It's been like this for a few years now and I know the truth is; it will get worse. Oh well I suppose, such is life and well, it's better off here than living in a box on an alley way. I just don't know how to get through this other than to think of what possibilities (so less) that may be available. Not much we can do now.

If the insurance renewal can't be paid soon, my dad risks getting fined and if we can't pay that, we could end up losing our car, then my dad could lose his job, I could end up never getting to school, and then our life will turn into a complete mess. Sometimes I wonder what I'm going to school for considering that in THIS economy; there isn't even any hope for those WITH credentials but I suppose; I'll keep trying....it's all I can do


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